I was really overwhelmed by the response of my co-bloggers on my entry, "STATUS: Confuse". I was really glad to read their advices- upright advices, mind you. Somehow, it made me realize what to do --- make sure of my feelings first before jumping into any conclusions.
But, the advice that made me think is Kuya Ax's. He said "Give yourself time. We have this so-called Dark Age Era. Go back after 28 days. Then, that's the time to ask yourself if you love her or not". Surprisingly, the Dark Age Era idea was supported by Kuya Shatter. He said "You need space. Both you and your friend. You're always together... If after spending time apart, and the affection still grows then I guess you have to rethink your motto na walang taluhan". I thought about it for a night but, sad to say, I TRASHED the idea because I think it is not necessary.
A day passed. I was shocked when the close friend I was talking about left a comment on the same entry.
28 days?? I think it's the best thing to do now. I can't pretend when I'm with you. It's hard.
28 days starts now... Walang pansinan. No communication. No everything. 23 days to go before my birthday. That would be enough. 23 days only, patawad na ang 5 days kay Kuya Ax. I'll miss you. This is hard, 'tol.
S***! All this time, she was reading my blog. Uncool! I feel so naked. LOL.
10:24 PM Saturday. I was walking to the dormitory where I stay when I received a SMS from Close friend.
Close friend: Have you read my comment in your blog?
ME: Yup. Why?
Close friend: I assume you understand what I said there, don't you?
ME: Yup. Why?
Close friend: Do you agree? We BOTH need time and space.
ME: No way! haha. (And I can still laugh ha.)
Close friend: But, we need it, both of us. We're confused.
ME: Basta, it cannot be. Avoiding each other is not the solution. Let us just save the friendship. That's what we need to do - nothing MORE, nothing LESS. *wink*
Close friend: Why? I know you can do it and I know I can, I think. Let me move on please.
I arrived at the dormitory. They're watching "Jennifer's Body". (Ahh. Megan Fox made me salivate.) I sat beside her and in a low voice, I said to her "Ang drama mo". She didn't replied back. And, I realized that it isn't appropriate for me to said that. Bad jubert, bad!
After the movie, I went straight to my room and she went to hers on the next floor. As I was preparing myself to sleep, I received another SMS from her.
Close friend: Ano payag ka na?
ME: Hindi nga. bleh!
Close friend: Bakit ba kasi ayaw mo?
Close friend: Can you please take this seriously? Nahihirapan na din kasi ako. You're making me fall for you much deeper.
ME: Naks naman! OK. On the serious note: I'm not doing anything to make you fall for me.
Close friend: Sa tingin mo wala pero meron. So, give me a little space. Please.
ME: You're up there and I'm down here. Isn't that space, a BIG space?
I hate myself. I can still punch corny jokes in serious situations like this.
Close friend: Bahala ka nga dyan. Basta, we need to do what Kuya Ax had said.
ME: No way!
Close friend: I just want to clear everything. I need to do it and I'll do it.
ME: OK, but I will not avoid you in any means. Understood?
Close friend: You'll just embarass yourself. You said you're confused then, take a break.
September 21 (11:50 PM) - Start of my "23 days of Dark Age"
Urgh. I'm so PISSED off with myself. I said that I will not avoid her but now, I see myself taking one step away. I hate to do it but she thinks it's the best thing to do for now, to give her a little space. I do not own her. Like what Kuya Shatter said "She is single, and therefore, she can associate herself with anyone she has fancy for".
Basta, what I know is that 21 days from now, my own Dark Age ends.