A Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Ex-Girlfriend, 

I am not really sure if you’d be able to read this but whatever. This will be my last letter to you. This is a closure to everything – no inhibitions, no future hopes and promises, nothing else but closure.

It’s already been five months since that heartbreaking night. But you broke my heart a couple of times before that and many times after that. When you told me that we can’t be together and that we’re better off as friends, I knew right there and then that I had to let you go, but I still hanged a little bit, right? I have been holding on because I still love you and I kept holding on to the idea of you and I together forever. I always wanted you to love me and to continue to love me even if we’re no longer together. So I admit that part, I’m selfish. 

We had those seven months. Those were the best months of my life. We had our own share of ups and downs. It was never easy between us. How can it be when we both knew our relationship wasn’t supposed to be? But for a couple caught up in a relationship that wasn’t supposed to be, we handled it pretty well. We faced issues maturely. We had arguments and discussions but we never fought - not even once. Never said hurtful words, never hated each other. We both knew when to stop. 

I will always have feelings for you. I will never stop caring. But things won’t be the same anymore. I would be lying if I say that losing you is something I can easily handle but I am finally moving on. I have told you before that I was letting you go and move on but everyone knows I didn’t. But now I will take baby steps of finally letting you go and I know that you will be happy for me. 

Babe, I am sorry if things ended the way they did. I really am. I blame myself. I still do. But I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret meeting you. I don’t regret loving you. No bitterness whatsoever. I’ll still have you in my life. I know that people are to fall in love but aren’t meant to be together forever. Well, that’s love. 

People meet for a reason. Meetings aren’t just random encounters. People meet because they’re meant to be part of each other’s journey. I may not know it now. You may not know it now. But there was a reason why we met. Our paths have crossed to teach each other a lesson and I want you to know that I learned a lot from you. 

From, 

Your ex-boyfriend who will never regret loving you

10 Ways To Turn Me Off

10. Turn off ako sa babaeng jejemon. Ikaw ba naman maka-receive ng gan’tong text “lAbqCkyOuHh” galing sa girlfriend mo kung di ka mawindang. 

09. Turn off  ako sa babaeng malakas pa sakin… ang body odor. Isa ito sa mga pet peeves ko actually. Kahit na siguro si Giselle Bundchen look-alike ang iharap niyo sakin kung jumajabar naman siya, thank you na lang. Hygiene is a necessity, man. It really is. 

08. Turn off ako sa babaeng dry ang sense of humor or worse, wala nito. Sobrang boring nun. At saka, baka di pa niya masakyan mga jokes ko. Awkward yun kung ganun. 

07. Turn off ko sa babaeng materialistic. Dahil wala akong pera. Boom! 

06. Turn off ako sa babaeng bitchy sa barkada ko. It doesn’t matter how we’ll she’s treating me, if she’s treating my friends on a bitchy and rude way, it’s only a matter of time before it is pointed at me. And I don’t like that. 

05. Turn off  ako sa babaeng nagyoyosi, umiinom and worst, nagda-drugs. Bakit ikaw dude gusto mo? Kung oo, lakas ng tama mo. Patingin ka na sa psychiatrist. 

04. Tun off ako sa babaeng clingy, overpossessive and too selosa. I find it cute when girls are being a bit selosa `cos it just shows na mahal niya ako and takot siyang mawala ako. But there there`s a fine line between being in love and being too much in love. Yung OA na ang pagseselos. Na kulang na lang pati Mom ko pagselosan. Ano `to, obsession? Haha.

03. Turn off ako sa babaeng makati pa sa higad or –sorry for the word- malibog. Because it’s not what trying to cultivate a lasting relationship is all about. There’s a fine line between lust and love. Ang mga relationship na lust ang foundation is usually doomed from the start. Sex is for married couples. Otherwise, it’s just fucking around.

 02.  Turn off ako sa babaeng nabibilang lang ang brain cells. Yung tipong pagpapaganda lang ang alam. Yung “clichés” ~ maganda nga pero medyo weak. Hindi lahat ng lalaki chooses beauty over brains. In fact, a lot of guys like to have an intelligent conversation rather than settle with the stereotypical limbo. And I’m one of them. Naks! 

01. And lastly, turn off ako sa babaeng mahilig mamangka sa dalawang ilog or more. In more simple term, CHEATER! Because duh, sino ba namang tao in his sane mind ang gustong niloloko siya? Ayaw na ayaw ko pa namang ginagawang tanga (so there comes the warning). Kung may gusto siyang iba, fine with a capital F. Hindi ako maghahabol. Never. Anyway, ano bang nakukuha ng isang tao sa pagtsi-cheat? Waley. I think the act is just repulsive and I’m wondering how cheaters sleep at night.

...

When we were kids, we have this picture of our ideal partners in our minds. Oh c`mon, don`t be shy. I know you have one. When I was a little bit younger, my ideal girl was a triple M ~ MATANDANG MAYAMAN NA MADALING MAMATAY. Hahaha. I`m just kidding. My ideal girl was -

1. Dapat maganda.

2. Dapat matalino.

3. Dapat mayaman.

In more simple term, dapat PERFECT which we all know don`t exist. At all. But somewhere along the road, nagbago ang requirements ko. Okay lang kahit di na maganda. Okay lang kahit di matalino. Okay lang kahit di mayaman. Now, I`m just looking for a girl who can love me for what I am. Who can accept my mistakes and my imperfections. And a girl who can look me in the eyes while saying, "Yes, I wanna grow old with you". That`s all, thank you. Bow. *sabay kaway sa audience* Haha. Ang mushy! Pang-pageant lang.

On a more serious mode.

I know that somewhere out there, out of the 8 billion people roaming this planet, there is this girl who is meant to be with me forever. She may not know it yet. I may not know it yet. But destiny will bring us together.

An Interview with the Awesome

Meet Hoobert the Awesome, a 20 year old pure-blooded Filipino, unico hijo and blogger superstar. I recently caught up with the living legend as he celebrated the 3rd year blogversary of his baby, Chillspot.

In The Name of Jubert

It is essential that you pronounce his name right if you want to be his friend. It’s Jubert and pronounced as it is spelled. “One thing you should know about me is that some stupid people can’t get my name right. People just fucked it up!”, he blurted.

Is there any story behind the name?

“As much as I want to think that my name has some British connections but nah, waley. I think Mom had just a penchant for combining syllables in naming her offspring. My name came from them actually, JUDY + HERBERT. And my sister’s name is Herdy. Well, just figure that out.

(Not very imaginative, I must say, but at least it’s in honor of his parents, not after some movie characters or Hollywood starlets.)

You said that people can’t just get your name right. Can you explain this a little bit further?

“I heard a lot of variations of my name especially nung nasa college pa ako. A mate called me John Rupert one time. It was annoying and funny at the same time. Pero there’s this Chinese-themed grocery-slash-eatery that we always frequented na hindi talaga ma-gets ang name ko – Juvert, Jobs, Jobert. The worst? Juvy.”

If you have to do it over again, would you change your name today?

“I’ll admit that I’m not too fond of the name, it’s a tough one and I’m quite blaming mom for that. Hahaha. But I don’t think I would change it. I got used to it.”

So where does Hoobert the Awesome came from?

“I want to thank Jessa for that. Jessa started calling me that when I was in senior college then it stick to me like a bubblegum. I just added the word awesome ‘cos that how I describe myself. Hahaha!”

The Romantic Side of Him

He was 16 when he had her first serious relationship. “It didn’t last long. She had her priorities, I had mine. We don’t have any other choice but to end it. It was completely mutual, we’re both fine. We both knew it just didn’t work and no hard feelings at all.” Then Hoob adds this revelation: “The most hurtful one was my most recent break-up”. Late last year, his girlfriend of seven months broke up with him. “I was really, really hurt. I didn’t saw that coming. But oh well, that’s life. ”

How did you cope up with the break-up?

“At first, it’s really hard. I have to admit that I sulked in for days and there was a point that I cried. I don’t want to use the term suicidal but something close to that described what I was feeling. I was so afraid of the days that would come for I know they are moments without the love that made me complete. It was so tough but I had to bring myself back into consciousness and pick the pieces up.”

Do you still love her?

“To be honest, I still do. I’m really sad about the break-up. I’ve been keeping busy and all to take my mind off her but I’m having a hard time.”

Are you still friends?

“You know, sometimes people go through phases in their lives where they must be apart, I think we’re on such phase right now. Healing obviously takes time but I’m looking forward to the day that we’ll be good friends. ”

What did you learned from this break-up?

“This may sound so bitter of me but I realized that people are meant to fall in love but are not destined to be together.”

What’s your two cents on long-distance relationship?

“I had two long-distance relationships before and obviously I sucked big time on handling them. But that’s just me. If you really like each other, stay together. However, be prepared for ridiculous amount of stress ‘cos it is difficult no matter what the few couples who managed it say. Usually, one of you will stop trying to work on the relationship. When the work stops, the split starts.”

What do you think is the key to a happy relationship?

“Love and trust.”

Meet the Blogger

A blogger since 2009, Hoobert has covered everything from political rants and national election to his dirty little secrets, college-life and his undying love to the Philippine men’s national football team. Talking about blogging, he reminisced: “I never really thought that my blog would last this long.” For the record, Chillspot is his fourth blog. He described his first three blogs as amateurish. But I guess, most bloggers started just like that, right?

Hoobert, what or who inspired you to become a blogger?

“Writing will always be in my blood. It’s a personal relationship for me. I started doing essays when I was in grade school but I only started blogging after being inspired by a Thai-Belgian blogger whose feisty views I religiously followed. Mga 2008 yun e, but I only took this whole blogging thing seriously a year after that.”

What’s the best thing about blogging?

“Just the fact that I have the ability to to reach out and touch people through my blogs, be able to speak my mind and express myself is a gift.”

And the worst?

“In my case, it eats a lot of my time. I check my blog three times a day, more if I’m not doing something. I think you also know the feeling of how it is like to be stuck in the blogosphere, you know what I mean. I’ll tell myself one minuter but then the next blog I visit is too interesting to read and the next blog and the next. Before I know it, hours have passed.”

Do you like getting recognized?

“Of course, when people would drop some comments telling me that my articles help them in a way, it inspires me more to keep going. Sobrang sarap sa feeling. And it’s not because it gives a celebrity-like status but because it means I’m doing something right.”

Do you receive any hate mails/comments?

“Hahaha, yes. Prolly the worst was when an anonymous guy called me a dimwit.”

What do you feel about them?

“It’s hard because I get attached to my blog and I want people to like it as much as I do. But at the end of the day, I also understand it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but as long as I’m happy with it, I think that’s all that matters.”

What advice would you give to people who want to be a blogger?

“Whatever you fall in love with, you can succeed at.”

Should you meet Hoobert the Awesome in the future and forget to properly pronounce his name, here’s a quick guide to get you started on facts, favorites or just to get the ball rolling.

A Final Glimpse On The Year That Was 2011

It’s hard to believe that 2011 is almost over.

I started the year hitting the sack ‘cos of some stupid illness. What a way to start the year, I thought to myself. Little did I know, then, that this will be the most awesome year of my life after 2005 and here are some of the reasons why.

2011 Memorabilia ♥ 나는 그들을보고 싶을거야

○ The 12-Hour Albay Escapade officially kicked off my 2011. I had a great time doing this especially I was the one who organized the whole trip. (I was a sheltered brat growing up so most of my travels heavily relied on my parents) I didn't have much time to research but thank God, it went as smooth as I was expecting it to be. Of course, ayaw ko din naming mapahiya kina Seul-ki. This was also my first (and last as of press time) pathetic attempt to travel blog. Damn it’s hard. You have to recall even the smallest of details.

Ako na ang oily ang face. Loser! Hahaha.

○ After four years of sleepless nights, hundreds of cups of coffee and instant noodles, I received my splendid, shimmering diploma from a reputable university. Trust me, when I got my diploma, my hands were shaking. It was a happy moment. My mom was there, cheering me on. My family was there. But at the same time, it was sad and a little bit thrilling. I realized that the people I see everyday will most likely I will never see again. I’m not really concerned about friends, I know we can find ways to keep in touch. It’s the people that I don’t know yet.

In fairness, ganda sana ng beach. The thing was, hang sakit sa paa. Hang bato.

○ One of the highlights of my summer was our one-week escapade in Cebu. I can’t describe how exciting this whole experience was. It was “a journey of firsts” for me – first time to ride an airplane, first time to set foot in the Visayas and first time to stay in a 5-star hotel. Winner! And on top of everything, I’ve got to spend a week in the company of my loved ones (most of whom are US-based). It’s priceless!

○ The best part of my year: I fell in love. I’m a guy who does believe in mushy things like destiny and soul mates and true love, you know all those childhood nonsenses. But getting a girlfriend isn’t a priority for me. Really. It just changed when I met my greatest love one lazy summer afternoon. It was love-at-first-sight. Now I do understand why guys turn into love-sick puppies when they are inlove.

○ I don’t remember getting too psyched about taking the Nursing Licensure Exam (NLE). I attended review sessions, yes, but my head was all over the place. I wanted to be on top but I don’t have the concentration and the focus. It was only two weeks before the exam when it sunk in to me. The thought. The anxiety. I started to get worried. All those I thought were preparations suddenly seemed insufficient. I only had a few hours of sleep everyday. It was a race against time.

○ Then the examination day came. I almost didn’t make it on time, I got lost. Oh, I’m so stupid without a map. Thank God, I was at the testing room 20 minutes before 7am. Before I could realize what happened next, Test I was handed to me. Not much of a choice, fight or flight. And then, the 2 hours were up. I went out of the room devastated. There and then, I knew that I won’t make it. Ampucha, I thought. Test I pa lang ang hirap na, paano pa ang Test 5? The good news, I survived the two-day ordeal.

Also, I would like to take this chance to thank the security guard of DWCL (College Department) for helping me with the directions. Saludo ako sa’yo Ser!

○ A month after I took the NLE, I went to Manila to find a temp job. And lucky me, I did but not for too long. After 8 days, no typo error there it’s really e-i-g-h-t, I was fired ‘cos of my awesomeness. Well, just my luck. I told myself that everything happens for a reason but I'll admit that it significantly decreased the size of my ego. Lesson learned? Be prepared for anything ‘cos as secure things may seem, they truly never are.

○ The next day, PRC dropped the bomb. My heart was pounding off my chest so imagine how I went hysterics as soon as I saw 22830 Hoobert the Awesome. I was like, “is this forreal?”. After long hours of dueling with my mind and myself; after months of waiting, I finally stood triumphant. I passed the test. Once again, God proved that there’s always a rainbow after the rain. I can’t be more thankful to Him.

Note: My score wasn’t the one I’ve been dreaming of but it’s definitely the one I deserved.

○ I still did a couple of job interviews after I learned of the results - both for BPO companies. I don’t know what gotten into me and I tried applying as a CSR ‘cos I know in myself that I’m not good in talking over the phone. As expected, both were unsuccessful. Maybe I made the impression that I am too arrogant, over-confident, GGSS or worst, too bored.

Sharing an interview with a company in Ortigas -

Interviewer: Do you think you have the chance of getting hired?

Me: Yes. Well, there’s a thing called luck.

Interviewer: *Giving me that “are you freaking serious” look* Just luck?

Me: And my charm. *laughs*

Yes, that’s the most stupid interview I had. You can’t blame me; I was so damn bored and uninterested. I know you know what happened next. I’ll ask you, if you were the interviewer, would you hire me? I don’t think so.

○ I am not used doing household chores for other persons. As his unico hijo, my mom spoiled me in this department. But now that I’m a full-grown adult, it needs to change. I stayed in my Tita O’s apartment when I was in Manila and she taught me how to do some household chores. And I’m just so fuckin’ proud of myself that I phoned my mom about it. All these years, I’ve been bragging to everyone that I can cook longganisa. Sorry but I was wrong. I just learned four months ago through my Tita that you should (kind of) boil it first before frying it. Sheeze.

○ September, October & November. I’ve been a little down the past 4 months because I felt like I had no specific direction in life. As much as people perceived that I knew what I want to do in life, the only clear thing is, I’m clueless. I became pretty depressed. I don’t have a job. My mom bugged me every day to find one. Chris was busy with her studies that we don’t have the chance to hang out. And I was being paranoid that she’s falling out of love. I don’t want to use the term suicidal but something close to that described what I was feeling. That was the hard times. I’m just thankful to God that I escaped the “Great Depression” unscathed and with my sanity intact.

○ December was the bitchiest month for me, I think some of you know. I got sick for 5 days. I had difficulties of breathing. I was throwing up. My whole body was aching. I got allergies. At some point, I thought I’m going to die. Seriously. Then, my girlfriend broke up with me. So there I was, a dying man who just lost his greatest love. Truth be told, I ruminated to commit suicide but then I love my life too much. Indeed, December was really the cherry on top of a terrible (but exciting in a way) last quarter.

This year, I wasn’t tempted with stuffs like smoking, alcohol or alas, drugs, but the things I was tempted with were things like procrastination, settling for less and looking for the easiest way out. Of course, I am not proud of that but I am not ashamed of it as well. ‘Cos with every experience, good or bad, I think I’ve grown wiser and stronger; although there’s still so much to learn.

The good news and probably the lesson of the story is that, while you considered yourself cursed, there are those who consider you a blessing. That while you may think of your life as pointless and wasted, there are still many things that you have done and many that you shall do more that are worthwhile.

All in all, loads of good stuffs to make up for the bad stuffs - a ridiculously awesome mom at my side, the love and support of my not-as-awesome-as-me-but-awesome-nonetheless sisters, an ex-girlfriend every guy could hope for, my ever-expanding list of friends and my internationally-acclaimed (in my dreams) blog. With all these blessings in mind, the one I’m most thankful for is that I became closer to God.

Now, I’m ready to put an awesome year behind me with high hopes for a more awesome year, with none of those terrible stuffs that dragged some parts of the year.

Here’s a toast: for the next 12 months!

Of mushy teacher reports, high school life and pre-college dilemma

I saw a yellowing old envelope (it had rat poops on it, gross!) on the cabinet the other day. As the curious little boy that I am, I opened it. And guess what I found. No, not rat poops again but a copy of my 6th grade report card. How awesome is that? I have no idea how this 10-year old stuff got into our living room although Mom is a certified rat pack who loves to keep trash so I shouldn't be surprised (and this is the part where I crumble and fall to pieces for calling Mom a “rat pack” ).

Moving on, yes, I saw my grades. What the, I thought. I might not really been a bad student after all.

But what really caught my eyes was the teacher’s narrative report. (Just so you know: My 6th grade teacher was the typical notorious old-maiden. I didn’t like her that much and I thought that the feeling was mutual. I remember a time when she caught me vandalizing a book and gave me a “pingot”. Sheeze. It’s really embarrassing.) Mushy statements were hit and I really thought that most of what I read was flattering. It’s heartfelt and corny. I just don’t agree with the third one. Though I’m trustworthy (or so I thought), I don’t think I’m honest in the truest sense of the word. And I never believed honesty to be the best policy. Never. Because the truth is, the truth is hard. It is stubborn. It is awkward. It is cruel. And most of the time, the truth hurts. Honesty or kindness? 90% of the time, I’d choose kindness.

I wish I kept all my report card, just to remind me how silly but brilliant I was as a kid.

…

I went into a public high school. It was a personal decision actually. My dad wanted me to go into this certain over-rated private school (where my two younger sisters are alums) in our province but because I’m a good son and I was being practical so I disagree with him much to my mom’s delight. And it’s of one the best decisions I’ve made as a teenager. These are the best times and here are some of the reasons why.

FRESHMAN

The thing to be frightened about studying in a public school is not getting good grades – it’s the scaring number of textbooks. Can you believe that I had, as far as I can remember, 21 books when I was a freshie? And you are obliged as a GOOD student to carry that around every day, well, most especially if your professor is a textbook-only child. In my case, I have to walk about 500 or so meters from the school gate to the freshman building and climb at least 20 flights of stairs to get into our room. Talk about luck.

I got my first share of pain when MJ (no, not M.J. Blige and definitely not Michael Jackson) shattered my heart into pieces. I learned through a friend that my crush of three years had a thing for a close buddy and the feeling was mutual. I was torn between letting go of MJ and saving the friendship with my buddy. But knowing me (here I comes again with my self-patronizing) as a good boy, you may have an idea what my decision was. Lesson learned? When a heart breaks, no it don’t break even.

The funniest experience ever was when we (me, my best friend and a bunch of fellas) caught one of the P.E. professors making out with a stud from the college department. And the thing was – gasp! – they were both guys. That’s supposed to be a secret. Well, not anymore.

SOPHOMORE

I’m always with the brainiacs. Of course, birds of the same feathers flock together. Lol. But don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got ‘cos I’m still, I’m still Hoobert from the block ‘cos even though I did pretty good in my acads, I didn’t penetrated the honor’s list. I’m always either on the 11th or 12th spot. The honors studs were just too tough to beat.

During my second year, I learned and mastered the art of making “sipsip” with your professors. We had this professor who was a celebrity, labeled notorious by the higher years. In the first few meetings, I saw how angry she can get. She’s scary! But the funny thing was when she was in the mood to talk, she talked about her chickens, how she dealt with engkantos as a kid or her marriage life. To make her notice that I was interested with her stories (even if the truth was I rather cuddle a pillow, stay in bed and pick on my nose), I asked questions. And you know what, I got a pretty good grade in her subject.

JUNIOR

I remembered one of our first Values Education assignments was to interview, no offense meant, prostitutes. It’s really ironic ‘cos we did night-club hopping during the day. It was my first time (and the last as of press time) to enter a night-club and it was really weird. I didn’t tell my mom about it ‘cos she’ll certainly freak out. Lesson learned? Not all prostitutes are beautiful.

It was the first time I laid my eyes on my “first girlfriend-to-be” Eunice. I didn’t find her attractive at first. She annoyed me – or was I just intimidated? Coming from a string of sectionals, regional and national competitions, everybody knew her. She’s like Ms. Popular and I was Mr. Nobody. It took me some months before I approached her; she went to a different high school by the way. Believe it or not, torpe ako noon.

I ran for a position in the Student Government. I knew that I had it in the bag. Talk about too much confidence. Yeah, I was pretty popular with the lower years and I don't have an idea why. Much to my surprise, I lost with 9 votes difference to my closest contender. Know who my closest contender was? My bestfriend. That moment, I want to stab her to death. Hahaha, just kidding.

SENIOR

I can’t help but laugh every time I remember the day when I stood up against our hugely unpopular still-single-at her-50s (no wonder) school head. She freaking insulted my drawing – she told the class that the atom I drew looked like a sperm entering an ovum. What the, I thought. I remember being flabbergasted, not because I believed her but the fact that a school head would say that. I know, I know, it’s a ground for expulsion but I felt much better after. The funny thing was she knew me by my name since then.

I hated the fact that I was the teacher’s favorite. It seems cool to you but not to me. Our professor back then was called Mr. Bean by my good-for-nothing mates (he does look Mr. Bean, oops) so I was called Little Bean. Dammit!

But my most unforgettable (and potentially-deadly) high school experience happened outside the campus. It was a Saturday and two of my girl friends were celebrating their birthdays. We went to a hot spring (about 20 of us, most were girls); well, to make the story short – we almost got massacred by a dozen of “war-freaks”. Some of the boys got punched and a mate fainted. It was pretty scary; it’s like we were on a slasher movie or something.

I don’t want to lift a chair but I became part of almost every club our high school has to offer: Science Club (Sec), Values Education Club (VP), HEKASI Club (Pres, note: HEKASI is my fave subject ever), E.P.P. Club, English Club blah blah blah. I was also the class business manager for three consecutive years with the exception of senior high when I moved up the ranks and became the Class VP. It’s a proof that my mates loved me that much. I was also the Spelling Bee champ during junior high and the runner up during freshman (I lost to a senior). And to top it off, I got one of the highest NCAE scores in our campus. Yeah I was a nerd. I still think I am at times.

...

One of the dilemmas I had during my senior year was where to study college and what course to take. As much as people perceived that I knew what I wanted to do in life, my future wasn’t clear cut. I was, then, pretty clueless. But still, I am lucky ‘cos I am not one of those kids who have dictators for parents. My parents, especially my mom, encouraged me to follow my passion. I remembered her saying, “kung saan ka masaya, dun ako”.

I filed only two college applications – both for public universities, University of the Philippines and Bicol University. I withdrew my application in my dream school, Ateneo de Manila University. As much as I hate to do it, coming from a lower middle-class family and the fact that my sisters were going into a private school my dream of being an “Atenista” isn’t possible.

Coming from a public high school, UPCAT is a must take for me. But I don’t remember being too psyched about it, well, except for the fact that I bought an UPCAT reviewer which I haven’t read that much. Who can blame me? I was too focused getting into that blue university and that whole UPCAT thing was just for ego-boosting purposes and the bragging right that I passed the “freaking mother-of-all-collegiate-entrance-tests.”

In high school, I considered Columbus and Magellan as gods so it’s a no-brainer that I wrote BS Geography as my first choice in the courses offered in UP-Diliman. AB History, second choice. I told you I was a nerd kiddo and boring. Then I probably wrote either BS Nursing or Communications whatever in my second college of choice – UP Manila.

I also filed a college application in Bicol University as Plan C if my applications in UP or AdMU didn’t work in my favor. And thank God I did. BS Nursing was my first choice then BS Education. Did you know that I dreamed of being a teacher in some point during my childhood years?

I didn’t go to UP (I missed the cut-off mark by just some points) or Ateneo de Manila but the thing I learned was every single soul has his own path in life. Don’t sweat yourself too much thinking of a clear career path when you are in high school – that’s partly what college is all about, discovering who you are and what you want to do in life.

Fine. I'm Wrong, You're Right. Now What?

It’s been almost seven months since Chris became my girlfriend. So far, so good. And I’m crossing my awesome fingers that it stays that way. But not known to many, our first two weeks has been pretty rough. Yes, I’m seriously serious. We argued a lot. My girlfriend and I agreed on absolutely nothing. At all. I’m thinking it’s either we didn’t know each other too well and we’re just warming up OR we are just both, let’s just say, “war-freak brats”.

Luckily for us, we are both awesome creatures. No major fight yet. We usually argue over small issues: the time it took her to reply to my texts, which drives me nuts. (This may sound immature but I’m not the most patient boyfriend of all. I can get impatient and stubborn and moody sometimes and you’re not gonna like me. Shikes!) Tiffs over where to eat donuts or what movie to watch are settled with rock-paper-scissors shoot out, kidding. It's her call. Full-blown arguments while very, very rare typically erupt about her “I’m nearly there” bullshit (and you know why). But these are always resolved very quickly.

Believe it or not, while disputes/arguments/debates with your “sweetie pie” is no fun, it should be noted that stuffs like these keeps a relationship on its toes. Don’t worry, it is not unusual. It just shows that you’ve invested enough to want to hash something instead of just writing each other off. And it doesn’t have to cause hustle and bustle in the relationship. When you think of a fight as a chance to talk and patch things up, not World War III, it takes fear out of it. Fear widens the knowing-doing gap. Don't use it pretty fuckin' please.

Moving on. You people are lucky, very lucky. I’ll be your love guru today, teaching you how to love and how to be love. Echos! Hahaha. Naaa, I’ll be sharing advices on how to handle arguments with your “sweetie pie” and not turn it into an all-nuclear war. No, no, don’t mistake me for Papa Jack. (I and my mates got addicted listening to Papa Jack last summer, as if that information would be necessary for the salvation of the world). Most of the stuffs here are for girls otherwise indicated. These I learned after years of being around tons and tons of girl friends (their boyfriends are of great help, too).

Don’t detail your tampo through text (unless you have an SMS love affair, you know). Girls, no offense meant, frequently do this and it's pretty annoying. This is a big no, no. I know it needs a lot of guts to meet head-on with your “sweetie pie” but you must remember that he might be clueless on why you are pissed. And to guys, if you have done something wrong to your girl, have the balls to say sorry in person.

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Never bring up old issues – ever. What’s done is done. Restrict your discussion to one, recent incident and don't go back to 2009. That way, you don’t misunderstand and wind up bickering again about the same thing all over again. Snowballing your complaints confuses both of you about what the real issue is.

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When you had a fight with your “sweetie pie”, do you vent online? Wrong. Not only you’re making a fool out of yourself but you’re also making yourself a prey of your good-for-nothing/tsismosa friends. So my teensy-bitsy advice: count to ten before changing your FB status. Couple/s who post TMZ-worthy feud on Facebook pisses a lot of people, me included. Seriously.

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Girlfriend: You know what? I’m just so freaking tired of you. This will not work. We’re over.

Boyfriend: Thank God, I am only waiting for you to say that. I deserve someone better.

Girlfriend: Yeah right, idiot!

Boyfriend: And you’re such a spoiled, fugly brat.

Girlfriend: Bayot!

Boyfriend: Oh c’mon that’s a low blow.

Girlfriend: Bayot. Bayot. Bayot. BAAA-

Boyfriend: Ok fine. I’m sorry. I take back everything I said. Just stop calling me that. Please babe?

Sometimes name-calling works. But most of the time (about 99%), it doesn’t. Sarcasm and name-calling are cheap shots. Just calm your butt down, if you cannot contain it any longer, two words: walk out. Otherwise, you may get a knee-jerk reaction that leaves you more upset. If you criticize rather than complain then your relationship is headed towards disaster with capital D.

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Give each other a breathing space. Not all arguments can be fixed in one sitting. You don’t need to build Rome in a day. You can just talk it out the next morning or after the two of you have calmed down. Settle a disagreement when you’re both in the right frame of mind. Otherwise, nothing will get solved. And worse, you might end up killing each other, joke! – you might end up as ex-lovers. You don’t want that, don’t you?

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Know when to stop. Once you heard the outcome you were after, maybe an apology or an explanation perhaps, stop. Any further squabbling is pleasure-seeking (out of lack of a better term). We all know that so don’t argue. If he/she said he/she was sorry, take it at face value. Don’t make him/her beg for your forgiveness (well, it depends in the severity of the case).

There is no such thing as toil-free relationship. Shits happen to test the limits of your love for each other. So if you two think that what you have is something special and worth fighting for, work it out. If one of you stops to work then you will be on a big trouble, I’m telling you: when the work stops, the split starts. Men and women have equal footing in a relationship. The “pa-martir” and “Andres de Saya” clones are so 20th century.

I'm Papa Awesome. Now, signing off.

A Letter to My Girlfriend

Dear Chris,

I’m crossing fingers that you’ll forgive my indulgence to write and post this where everyone can be able to read this (yes, including my parents). Let’s just say, this is my own claim of public display of affection. I guess it will make me look mushy and lame to some people but I don’t even care, it’s the mushy guy that I am.

Never in my wildest and wettest dream did I ever, well, dream this would happen. I never expected to fall in love truly, madly, deeply so fast. Don’t get me wrong, I am a great believer of love-at-first-sight, yes I am. But I never thought I would be infected by the love bug that fast. The past months have been awesome. Has it really been four months? Wow. Time flies when you’re having so much fun.

You’re what I’ve been praying to God for the past five years - good-looking, smart, sweet, has sense of humor and a little bit “mayabang”. I love everything about you. All those weird little things that you do. And the way you make me blush every time you say “ang gwapo ng boyfriend ko”. It all amazes me. There is also a “you-and-me together” moment that I can’t help but love and cherish – remember the night when we spent time together under the rain? It was magical and so romantic that I never wanted it to end. When you told me that I’m the right one, I cannot tell how good that made me feels. I still don’t understand how an awesome guy like me would end up with an awesomer person like you. Well, there’s something called luck.

I’m not a perfect boyfriend but I’m trying to be one. You know that everything I’m doing now is not just for me, but for us, our future. The 500++ kilometers will not destroy us. I know we are strong enough to make it through. I have faith that in due time this will all come to an end and we will be together forever. For the time being, let us content ourselves with SMS, phone calls or the old-school love letters so we will feel like we’re together more often than we actually are. It’s not the same but it’s the closest thing that we can get.

I hope you never quit seeing how much my love for you is true. I’ve already told you that I love you, but I don’t mind doing it again. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you more than words could ever show and I know you love (well, adore is more fitting) me too.

Mas mahal kita ngayon kaysa kahapon at mas mamahalin kita bukas kaysa ngayon. ♥

Your Awesome Boyfriend

LOVE IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME YOU FALL

I once had a girlfriend. You know, one of those cheesy high school love stories. But it didn't last that long. She has her priorities and sadly, I'm not one of them. I was really, really hurt. (TIP: If you have a high school sweetheart going to a different school, do yourself a favor and break up.) But I think letting her go was the smartest thing to do. We stay friends though. Now she's just Facebook-stalking me. LMAO. But I discovered in one of those random Facebook talks that she doesn't consider our "relationship" a relationship. Wow, it caught me by surprise. Yes, we're young and innocent back then but I fell in love with her and I'm sure of that. And I thought she felt the same way too but I was wrong. Oh well, now, I don't care. Shikes, I sound so bitter. LMFAO.


After that a-week-and-four-days relationship, I gave my achy breaky heart a rest. While some boys cross stitched from one relationship to another like they are just changing their underwears, I chose not to exert effort at all and just let Cupid do the hunting for me. (Anyway I still ruminate that single guys should not automatically be declared as torpe or worse, gay. That's bigotry.) It took Cupid five years but I'm not on a rush. Love is not a game. It's about finding the right person at the right time and under the right circumstances.

Being taken is not a matter of choice; it's being single that it. Not unless a girl proposed her undying love for me before my 20th birthday, I will be single 'til ad infinitum. (Sorry but I cannot disclose her name here. Our parents will surely freak out. She's almost three years younger than me.)

We met last summer. We were seatmates in a PUV. She was with a friend. It was love-at-first sight. She opened her hands. She was suggesting me to hold her. With no second thoughts, I gave in. I held her hands for about 30 minutes. Lower those eyebrows honey, yes, it's weird 'cos we barely know each other but heck, I fell in love with her hard. I mean hard.

On the 16th of May, she officially became my girl. We're kind of fast - no, she was fast. Maybe she completely understands that she's getting a quality boyfriend. LMAO. No, seriously, I've waited long enough for this to come. I won't let this girl slip through my fingers again. I may not find a girl like her again in the future.

I would like to think that I already found my soulmate if there's such thing. We have a lot of similarities and common interests, I think she's Hoobert 2.0. LMAO. Little things amuse her and I like that in a girl. Though she's a self-admitted selosa, she's not the kind of girl that will keep checking me out every minute 'cos I find it very annoying. Anyway, she don't have to worry about me straying because I will show zero interest to anyone. We've just been together for almost three months but we're very comfortable with each other. There's no dull moment when we're together. Actually, she's fast becoming my best friend. When I'm kind of pissed, she's there to listen to my problems, no matter how small. When we go out, we split cost on stuffs without making a big deal out of it. When we're having disputes, she's willing to talk it out and help me see her side of things.

Ever since she came up, I never imagined my life without her. Seriously. Her existence is meant to complete my existence. There's this one time, after we had dinner, we went out for a stroll. Her arms were around me, it was raining. We were looking at each others eyes. That's the time when I realized that, oh man, I wanna spend the rest of my life with this girl.

Call me freak. Call me love sick. Call me weirdo. I don't care. Ganito pala kapag inlove, it seems that I became a different person. And I believe that she brings out the best in me. And that's what true love is - loving the person you become as a result of the person you are with. I'll admit that I'm not an ideal boyfriend, far from it. I've only had one relationship prior to ours so don't expect me to be smooth in any means. I don't know how long we'll be together or how we'll break-up. The only thing I'm sure of is hers is the only name I need to memorize. <3

Hello baby! Happy 16th. I love you so much. We're really meant to be. This is our fairytale, you and me, together.

"Bakit wala ka pang girlfriend?"

As a 19 year-old guy that has been single for all my life (but 11 days), I know this question too well. I've been asked by this question a thousand times already and you cannot escape it especially when in the company of your friends who are either nosy and pesky or attempting to be a matchmaker. Depending on the tone used, it's easy to know if it's asked out of curiosity or just simply bitching you out.

The stereotype of a single guy (and gal too!) considering the age (I'm freaking 19 years old, repeat, nineteeeeeeeen) is that they are pangit and deprived. Hahaha! I can't help but laugh. It never crossed my mind that I am pangit, never, because I'm not. (^-^) And never did I felt that I am deprived. At least when you are single, you are saved from the perpetual cheesiness and mushiness of this world. And besides I'm enjoying the status I have now. When I wake up in the morning, I'm not obliged to call someone. I can go wherever I want and I can be with anybody. I'm also a quite jealous person so I am saved from worrying about where she goes after school or who she's seeing.

But despite of these, I want to experience falling in love again like what I've experienced million years ago. But I am still waiting for the perfect soulmate and she hasn't appeared yet. Of course, I also want to get married and have my own happy family as much as everyone does. Those who said otherwise are sadly misinformed.

My mom always ask me the question "when will you get married?" everytime we are having this mom-son bonding moments. (I find it weird because Mama is not the kind of mother that will meddle in her son's lovelife. Never.) I always give her my honest and consistent answer: 37. My mom would always give me that same puzzled look as in "37? Ang tanda mo naman yata nun". Why mom? Do you want me to marry a girl, fuck her and have 8 kids to feed by the age of 25? XD

Why 37? I think by that time I have my career established, I have a house and I have traveled a lot. I believe it is important for me to experience these things while I'm still single so that I don't have any regrets later on in life. When you are already tied-down (words alone sent shiver into my spine), it is difficult to do something or go somewhere or take long periods of time yourself.

As cliche as it may sound but "ang pagpapakasal ay hindi parang kaning isusubo at iluluwa kapag napaso". Marriage is not a game, it's a life-long promise. It is about findind the right person, at the right time and under the same circumstances. Though I think that 37 is the right age for me to marry, there is no perfect age in marriage. It simply depends on your being mature enough to be able to make that full commitment to another person. And then you find that another person who can share that promise to you. (That's the hardest part IMO) And that could hit at any age.

But now I'm still young, I haven't turned 20 yet. (I'll be turning 2o this 17th of May. I'm accepting gifts as early as now). Let me just enjoy the moment and just take it sloooooooow.

A Letter to my Future Girlfriend

Dear “My-soon-to-be-girlfriend”,

It does feel weird writing to you considering that you do not exist. Or rather you exist; I am just unaware of your existence. But I’m not losing hope that someday we will finally meet. And in time, we will fall in love and write our own fairytale. I am the prince, you are the princess and of course, we will live happily ever after. Never mind if this is just wishful thinking, darling.

Please understand that I’m not perfect. I’m very far from being one. So, I hope that you will love me the way I am. I’ve had only one relationship prior to ours so don’t expect me to be smooth in any means. I’m not even romantic but I love doing cheesy stuffs. I will ask you to go out with me on a tissue paper, or if you like, I will just shout it in public, loud and clear. On our first date as a couple, allow me to bring you to my house. I will introduce you to my mom and sisters as my girlfriend. That’s the time that we know that you have me and that I have you.

I don’t know how to cook but for you I’ll try my best. I just hope that you won’t laugh at me if it get burned, turned to mush or taste like paste. But I assure you that I look handsome in an apron. I would really love to calm you down when you’re pissed. It makes me glad to see your mood lighten up, especially knowing that I am the reason behind the smiles.

Please accept the cheesy love letters I will give you not just on our monthsary or on your birthday but also on some lazy afternoon. And, I am more than happy to be your alarm clock. I will wake you up in the morning and send you to sleep at night. I will keep checking you out to know how your day went or what’s on your mind. Always remember that I am not just your lover but your best friend as well.

I don’t have a good singing voice but for you I will sing. Sorry if I am out of tune but believe me, it’s the best that I can do. I love to travel and I hope you also do. So don’t wonder if I will pack a bag and we’ll fly to Cebu to celebrate a special day. And if ever we will have a fight, there’s no need to freak out. Allow me to invite you for dinner and let’s talk it over grilled-pusit and crab rice. That’s yummy. I swear.

As of now, I don’t have a clue on how we will meet. I don’t know how long we will be together or how we will break up. I don’t know too much about love. All I know is that true love is not only loving the person you are with but loving the person you become as a result of the person you are with. I know one day I’ll find you. I know you will find me too. Just keep believing in love and destiny will bring us together.

Although I have yet to find you believe me when I say, I LOVE YOU.

Love,

“Your-soon-to-be-boyfriend”

Beautiful in my Eyes

I don’t really have a plan of blogging tonight. But look, I’m punching keys again. I just want to release this from my fncking head – it occupies much of my brain to my dismay.

I will talk about my college crush(es). It took me a lot of courage (and energy drinks) to write about girls I had/have fancy with. You know, this is not easy for a “torpe guy” like me. Usually, when I want a girl(s), I stat them on FB but now I dedicated a whole post just for them. And this is really weird. Shikes!

JEANNIE. I can’t forget her. I had a crush on her in my freshman year earning her the throne of “JUBERT’S FIRST CRUSH IN COLLEGE”. I thought she was cute from the moment I saw her. I don’t know what the event at the school that time but I remember being seated in front of her and then used that as an excuse to ask some stuffs about her. Too bad, I never had the chance to talk to her again.

Now, she has a boyfriend and he’s a friend. And they’re such a cute couple.

IRIS. I don’t even know how this started but I remember crushing on her hard during my freshman year. We we’re classmates and she’s quite the brainiac. In fact, she topped the Midwifery Licensure Exam of April 2009.

We talked a handful of times but not too much. I don’t know how to approach her so I never really showed her I was interested. So things died down after that.

I’m not sure if she still remembers but I received an SMS from her one day saying that “she’s not yet ready to enter a relationship”. Well, that’s not really the words but what the heck! The thing is, it wasn’t intended for me. I think it was an awkward moment for her.

DOC. I had a crush on her in sophomore year. She and I were RLE mates. I found her interesting and goofy. So, I started to hang-out with her more. I’d always sit next to her, lean on her or do stuffs like walk her to class. But being the torpe that I am, I never tried with her that much. But she and I were always cool though. She acts all giddy whenever I see her in the campus and gives her a hug.

I remember blogging about her last February 2009. I don’t know if she was able to read that but I know that some of our friends did. I’m just so lucky that they didn’t use it to blackmail me.

RED. We are buddies since first year. She’s really cute and wacky and pasaway! I always laugh in whatever she does especially when she cracks corny jokes or sing songs even if she doesn’t know the lyrics. When other people don’t laugh at her, I involuntarily giggle.

Though I’m not fond of attaching string to my girl friends, I planned to make my move. But eventually, I didn’t. I realized that our relationship is never going to be anything more than platonic. And besides, I don’t want to jeopardize the friendship.

JANE. Something about her face I always liked. She’s one of the few people I know that can pull a funny face but still look gorgeous. Really. She’s two years younger than me. We represented the Nursing Department in a competition so I got her phone number and we exchanged SMS. Jane and I started talking more at that point. She’d always ask me some stuffs about boys like “why some boys are flirt” blah blah blah. I took that as a good sign because it seems that she’s very comfortable with me and she really consider me as a friend.

But after the competition, we didn’t chill that much more though I would speak to her whenever I see her. Her “Na-miss kita Marzan” along with her smile always make me kilig.

JESSA. I was very vocal about my admiration to this girl. In fact, I’ve blogged about her twice already. I crushed on her hard last year. I mean hard. She had been a mainstay in my dreams for quite sometime last year. And I find it funny.

Almost a year had passed but the crush is still here. But no pressure, it’s cool. No matter what happens, we’re still friends. We’re just Facebook stalking each other these days. Oh, c’mon, it’s not bad as it sounds.

Here you go. That’s a quick rehash of all the girls I’ve had/have strong crushes on. There’s been others, milder crush(es) but forget them.