How To Win A Pageant Even If You’re Not (That) Good-looking

Well, it’s PNSA Ambassador and Ambassadress of Goodwill season again!

Honestly, it’s one of the few events that I look forward to when I was still in college. Because, hell, why not? It’s the only time of the year when eye candies from different nursing schools in the region strut their stuffs on stage and vie for the bragging right of being, well, PNSA’s most gorgeous.

It must be nerve-wracking to some of the candidates. I remembered joining a department-wide pageant a year ago. Oh God, it was a very exhausting and pressure-filled experience. I remember being too psyched about it, mainly because that was my first (and last) pageant evaaar and that pageant thing was for ego-boosting purposes and bragging right that I joined and won a pageant.

“Jubs, you’ll represent the team sa Nightingale”, our team leader told me. With no second thoughts, I nodded. I literally had no idea what I was going into. Bahala na, I said to myself. I was in my senior year and I just wanted to have fun. That night, I told my mom about it. At first, she disapproved. “Gastos lang yan”, she said. But in the end, I still had her blessing (and her financial assistance).

As the days for the pageant became near, I got busier and busier. I remembered waking up at the middle of the night just to practice my walk in front of this huge, huge mirror in the dormitory’s men’s room. I shopped for new clothes with my mom. I remembered spending a large portion of my weekly allowance to buy stuffs – paints, ribbons, masks blah blah. Went to rehearsal. To tell you guys, it wasn’t easy. That’s why it made me venerate guys who constantly join in this kind of events. Applause applause!

At this point, I want to thank my family for being so supportive. My mom and my two sisters showed up in the day of the pageant, brought me some snacks and dinner and was ready to cheer for me.

Hours before the pageant proper, it sunk in to me. The thought. The anxiety. I may not show outward signs of beingfor new clothes with my mom. I nervous but deep inside my vital organs were coiling. I was conscious of how, at any given moment, I might throw up. All those I thought were preparations suddenly seemed not enough. All that self-assurance suddenly went down.

Before I could realize what happened next, I was on the backstage waiting for my number to be called.

The host: “Candidate No. 5 Jubert John Marzan.” Not much of a choice. Fight or flight.When I went on stage, I saw the crowd cheering for me (but I heard someone boo-ed me, bad!). I felt so much loved. I thought: “Let’s do this! I’m actually having fun.”

After hundreds of costume changes, the preliminary Q&A was next. Everybody got a question. It was asked in English. So easy, I thought (to tell you, I didn’t really prepare for the Q&A that much). The judge asked me (I’m paraphrasing): “how would you promote breast-feeding to mothers?”. Honestly, I fumbled for an answer but managed to give one in the end. ‘Wag niyo ng itanong. Nakakahiya! At saka nakalimutan ko na. Hahaha. At this point on, I wasn’t expecting anything. I knew that my answer in the Q&A messed up my scores. My answer, I believe, wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t good either.

WORD VOMMMMIT!

Then, the announcement of the Top 5 came next. I knew then and there that I won’t place. But guess what? The unexpected happened.

The host: “The last spot goes to… contestant no. 5, Jubert John Marzan!” Yaaaaay! That’s me. I didn’t saw that coming.

To make the story shorter, I made it into the Top 5 and managed to give a decent answer in the final Q&A. I didn’t win the title. I only ended up as 2nd runner up but it felt good. My family was happy. Our team was happy. I was so proud of myself. The experience taught me that “it’s not all always about winning”.

Probably the lesson of the story is that, in a competition like this one, being smart and good-looking doesn’t guarantee you of winning. What you need is the determination of a winner. The drive. The desire. The confidence. Believe in yourself first so that you can make everyone believe in you. Though it is a popular answer among beauty queens, that doesn’t make it any less crucial.

Looking back at joining the pageant, I realized that back then I made decisions on my own.My family initially discouraged my plans of joining but in the end I joined and eventually got their support. Why? Because of a simple reason: I wanted to be there. I felt that it would make me happy. I joined not because my friends pressured me to do so but because I wanted to.

TO THE CANDIDATES: Do your best but don’t be too hard on yourself. Be competitive but at the same time have fun. Don’t be intimidated with the bashers/haters/bitters (inggit lang sila!) and your fellow contestants, instead learn from them to do better.

Shameless plug-in. As for me, I’m rooting for Iana babes – my girl on this auspicious event.Don’t vamp a reason that because she’s my friend. She’s really nice. If you’re looking for a knock-dead gorgeous, it’s her – hands down. Whoever is reading this that has a Facebook account please visit the official page now, support Iana and drop some comments. No, there’s no prize for nasty comments so just zip it.

1. Like the pageant’s official page here (PNSA Ambassador and Ambassadress of Goodwill 2012).

2. Then like Iana’s picture. Please please please. She’s pretty, isn’t she? (Iana’s glamshot)

Thank you.

A Final Glimpse On The Year That Was 2011

It’s hard to believe that 2011 is almost over.

I started the year hitting the sack ‘cos of some stupid illness. What a way to start the year, I thought to myself. Little did I know, then, that this will be the most awesome year of my life after 2005 and here are some of the reasons why.

2011 Memorabilia ♥ 나는 그들을보고 싶을거야

○ The 12-Hour Albay Escapade officially kicked off my 2011. I had a great time doing this especially I was the one who organized the whole trip. (I was a sheltered brat growing up so most of my travels heavily relied on my parents) I didn't have much time to research but thank God, it went as smooth as I was expecting it to be. Of course, ayaw ko din naming mapahiya kina Seul-ki. This was also my first (and last as of press time) pathetic attempt to travel blog. Damn it’s hard. You have to recall even the smallest of details.

Ako na ang oily ang face. Loser! Hahaha.

○ After four years of sleepless nights, hundreds of cups of coffee and instant noodles, I received my splendid, shimmering diploma from a reputable university. Trust me, when I got my diploma, my hands were shaking. It was a happy moment. My mom was there, cheering me on. My family was there. But at the same time, it was sad and a little bit thrilling. I realized that the people I see everyday will most likely I will never see again. I’m not really concerned about friends, I know we can find ways to keep in touch. It’s the people that I don’t know yet.

In fairness, ganda sana ng beach. The thing was, hang sakit sa paa. Hang bato.

○ One of the highlights of my summer was our one-week escapade in Cebu. I can’t describe how exciting this whole experience was. It was “a journey of firsts” for me – first time to ride an airplane, first time to set foot in the Visayas and first time to stay in a 5-star hotel. Winner! And on top of everything, I’ve got to spend a week in the company of my loved ones (most of whom are US-based). It’s priceless!

○ The best part of my year: I fell in love. I’m a guy who does believe in mushy things like destiny and soul mates and true love, you know all those childhood nonsenses. But getting a girlfriend isn’t a priority for me. Really. It just changed when I met my greatest love one lazy summer afternoon. It was love-at-first-sight. Now I do understand why guys turn into love-sick puppies when they are inlove.

○ I don’t remember getting too psyched about taking the Nursing Licensure Exam (NLE). I attended review sessions, yes, but my head was all over the place. I wanted to be on top but I don’t have the concentration and the focus. It was only two weeks before the exam when it sunk in to me. The thought. The anxiety. I started to get worried. All those I thought were preparations suddenly seemed insufficient. I only had a few hours of sleep everyday. It was a race against time.

○ Then the examination day came. I almost didn’t make it on time, I got lost. Oh, I’m so stupid without a map. Thank God, I was at the testing room 20 minutes before 7am. Before I could realize what happened next, Test I was handed to me. Not much of a choice, fight or flight. And then, the 2 hours were up. I went out of the room devastated. There and then, I knew that I won’t make it. Ampucha, I thought. Test I pa lang ang hirap na, paano pa ang Test 5? The good news, I survived the two-day ordeal.

Also, I would like to take this chance to thank the security guard of DWCL (College Department) for helping me with the directions. Saludo ako sa’yo Ser!

○ A month after I took the NLE, I went to Manila to find a temp job. And lucky me, I did but not for too long. After 8 days, no typo error there it’s really e-i-g-h-t, I was fired ‘cos of my awesomeness. Well, just my luck. I told myself that everything happens for a reason but I'll admit that it significantly decreased the size of my ego. Lesson learned? Be prepared for anything ‘cos as secure things may seem, they truly never are.

○ The next day, PRC dropped the bomb. My heart was pounding off my chest so imagine how I went hysterics as soon as I saw 22830 Hoobert the Awesome. I was like, “is this forreal?”. After long hours of dueling with my mind and myself; after months of waiting, I finally stood triumphant. I passed the test. Once again, God proved that there’s always a rainbow after the rain. I can’t be more thankful to Him.

Note: My score wasn’t the one I’ve been dreaming of but it’s definitely the one I deserved.

○ I still did a couple of job interviews after I learned of the results - both for BPO companies. I don’t know what gotten into me and I tried applying as a CSR ‘cos I know in myself that I’m not good in talking over the phone. As expected, both were unsuccessful. Maybe I made the impression that I am too arrogant, over-confident, GGSS or worst, too bored.

Sharing an interview with a company in Ortigas -

Interviewer: Do you think you have the chance of getting hired?

Me: Yes. Well, there’s a thing called luck.

Interviewer: *Giving me that “are you freaking serious” look* Just luck?

Me: And my charm. *laughs*

Yes, that’s the most stupid interview I had. You can’t blame me; I was so damn bored and uninterested. I know you know what happened next. I’ll ask you, if you were the interviewer, would you hire me? I don’t think so.

○ I am not used doing household chores for other persons. As his unico hijo, my mom spoiled me in this department. But now that I’m a full-grown adult, it needs to change. I stayed in my Tita O’s apartment when I was in Manila and she taught me how to do some household chores. And I’m just so fuckin’ proud of myself that I phoned my mom about it. All these years, I’ve been bragging to everyone that I can cook longganisa. Sorry but I was wrong. I just learned four months ago through my Tita that you should (kind of) boil it first before frying it. Sheeze.

○ September, October & November. I’ve been a little down the past 4 months because I felt like I had no specific direction in life. As much as people perceived that I knew what I want to do in life, the only clear thing is, I’m clueless. I became pretty depressed. I don’t have a job. My mom bugged me every day to find one. Chris was busy with her studies that we don’t have the chance to hang out. And I was being paranoid that she’s falling out of love. I don’t want to use the term suicidal but something close to that described what I was feeling. That was the hard times. I’m just thankful to God that I escaped the “Great Depression” unscathed and with my sanity intact.

○ December was the bitchiest month for me, I think some of you know. I got sick for 5 days. I had difficulties of breathing. I was throwing up. My whole body was aching. I got allergies. At some point, I thought I’m going to die. Seriously. Then, my girlfriend broke up with me. So there I was, a dying man who just lost his greatest love. Truth be told, I ruminated to commit suicide but then I love my life too much. Indeed, December was really the cherry on top of a terrible (but exciting in a way) last quarter.

This year, I wasn’t tempted with stuffs like smoking, alcohol or alas, drugs, but the things I was tempted with were things like procrastination, settling for less and looking for the easiest way out. Of course, I am not proud of that but I am not ashamed of it as well. ‘Cos with every experience, good or bad, I think I’ve grown wiser and stronger; although there’s still so much to learn.

The good news and probably the lesson of the story is that, while you considered yourself cursed, there are those who consider you a blessing. That while you may think of your life as pointless and wasted, there are still many things that you have done and many that you shall do more that are worthwhile.

All in all, loads of good stuffs to make up for the bad stuffs - a ridiculously awesome mom at my side, the love and support of my not-as-awesome-as-me-but-awesome-nonetheless sisters, an ex-girlfriend every guy could hope for, my ever-expanding list of friends and my internationally-acclaimed (in my dreams) blog. With all these blessings in mind, the one I’m most thankful for is that I became closer to God.

Now, I’m ready to put an awesome year behind me with high hopes for a more awesome year, with none of those terrible stuffs that dragged some parts of the year.

Here’s a toast: for the next 12 months!

Of mushy teacher reports, high school life and pre-college dilemma

I saw a yellowing old envelope (it had rat poops on it, gross!) on the cabinet the other day. As the curious little boy that I am, I opened it. And guess what I found. No, not rat poops again but a copy of my 6th grade report card. How awesome is that? I have no idea how this 10-year old stuff got into our living room although Mom is a certified rat pack who loves to keep trash so I shouldn't be surprised (and this is the part where I crumble and fall to pieces for calling Mom a “rat pack” ).

Moving on, yes, I saw my grades. What the, I thought. I might not really been a bad student after all.

But what really caught my eyes was the teacher’s narrative report. (Just so you know: My 6th grade teacher was the typical notorious old-maiden. I didn’t like her that much and I thought that the feeling was mutual. I remember a time when she caught me vandalizing a book and gave me a “pingot”. Sheeze. It’s really embarrassing.) Mushy statements were hit and I really thought that most of what I read was flattering. It’s heartfelt and corny. I just don’t agree with the third one. Though I’m trustworthy (or so I thought), I don’t think I’m honest in the truest sense of the word. And I never believed honesty to be the best policy. Never. Because the truth is, the truth is hard. It is stubborn. It is awkward. It is cruel. And most of the time, the truth hurts. Honesty or kindness? 90% of the time, I’d choose kindness.

I wish I kept all my report card, just to remind me how silly but brilliant I was as a kid.

…

I went into a public high school. It was a personal decision actually. My dad wanted me to go into this certain over-rated private school (where my two younger sisters are alums) in our province but because I’m a good son and I was being practical so I disagree with him much to my mom’s delight. And it’s of one the best decisions I’ve made as a teenager. These are the best times and here are some of the reasons why.

FRESHMAN

The thing to be frightened about studying in a public school is not getting good grades – it’s the scaring number of textbooks. Can you believe that I had, as far as I can remember, 21 books when I was a freshie? And you are obliged as a GOOD student to carry that around every day, well, most especially if your professor is a textbook-only child. In my case, I have to walk about 500 or so meters from the school gate to the freshman building and climb at least 20 flights of stairs to get into our room. Talk about luck.

I got my first share of pain when MJ (no, not M.J. Blige and definitely not Michael Jackson) shattered my heart into pieces. I learned through a friend that my crush of three years had a thing for a close buddy and the feeling was mutual. I was torn between letting go of MJ and saving the friendship with my buddy. But knowing me (here I comes again with my self-patronizing) as a good boy, you may have an idea what my decision was. Lesson learned? When a heart breaks, no it don’t break even.

The funniest experience ever was when we (me, my best friend and a bunch of fellas) caught one of the P.E. professors making out with a stud from the college department. And the thing was – gasp! – they were both guys. That’s supposed to be a secret. Well, not anymore.

SOPHOMORE

I’m always with the brainiacs. Of course, birds of the same feathers flock together. Lol. But don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got ‘cos I’m still, I’m still Hoobert from the block ‘cos even though I did pretty good in my acads, I didn’t penetrated the honor’s list. I’m always either on the 11th or 12th spot. The honors studs were just too tough to beat.

During my second year, I learned and mastered the art of making “sipsip” with your professors. We had this professor who was a celebrity, labeled notorious by the higher years. In the first few meetings, I saw how angry she can get. She’s scary! But the funny thing was when she was in the mood to talk, she talked about her chickens, how she dealt with engkantos as a kid or her marriage life. To make her notice that I was interested with her stories (even if the truth was I rather cuddle a pillow, stay in bed and pick on my nose), I asked questions. And you know what, I got a pretty good grade in her subject.

JUNIOR

I remembered one of our first Values Education assignments was to interview, no offense meant, prostitutes. It’s really ironic ‘cos we did night-club hopping during the day. It was my first time (and the last as of press time) to enter a night-club and it was really weird. I didn’t tell my mom about it ‘cos she’ll certainly freak out. Lesson learned? Not all prostitutes are beautiful.

It was the first time I laid my eyes on my “first girlfriend-to-be” Eunice. I didn’t find her attractive at first. She annoyed me – or was I just intimidated? Coming from a string of sectionals, regional and national competitions, everybody knew her. She’s like Ms. Popular and I was Mr. Nobody. It took me some months before I approached her; she went to a different high school by the way. Believe it or not, torpe ako noon.

I ran for a position in the Student Government. I knew that I had it in the bag. Talk about too much confidence. Yeah, I was pretty popular with the lower years and I don't have an idea why. Much to my surprise, I lost with 9 votes difference to my closest contender. Know who my closest contender was? My bestfriend. That moment, I want to stab her to death. Hahaha, just kidding.

SENIOR

I can’t help but laugh every time I remember the day when I stood up against our hugely unpopular still-single-at her-50s (no wonder) school head. She freaking insulted my drawing – she told the class that the atom I drew looked like a sperm entering an ovum. What the, I thought. I remember being flabbergasted, not because I believed her but the fact that a school head would say that. I know, I know, it’s a ground for expulsion but I felt much better after. The funny thing was she knew me by my name since then.

I hated the fact that I was the teacher’s favorite. It seems cool to you but not to me. Our professor back then was called Mr. Bean by my good-for-nothing mates (he does look Mr. Bean, oops) so I was called Little Bean. Dammit!

But my most unforgettable (and potentially-deadly) high school experience happened outside the campus. It was a Saturday and two of my girl friends were celebrating their birthdays. We went to a hot spring (about 20 of us, most were girls); well, to make the story short – we almost got massacred by a dozen of “war-freaks”. Some of the boys got punched and a mate fainted. It was pretty scary; it’s like we were on a slasher movie or something.

I don’t want to lift a chair but I became part of almost every club our high school has to offer: Science Club (Sec), Values Education Club (VP), HEKASI Club (Pres, note: HEKASI is my fave subject ever), E.P.P. Club, English Club blah blah blah. I was also the class business manager for three consecutive years with the exception of senior high when I moved up the ranks and became the Class VP. It’s a proof that my mates loved me that much. I was also the Spelling Bee champ during junior high and the runner up during freshman (I lost to a senior). And to top it off, I got one of the highest NCAE scores in our campus. Yeah I was a nerd. I still think I am at times.

...

One of the dilemmas I had during my senior year was where to study college and what course to take. As much as people perceived that I knew what I wanted to do in life, my future wasn’t clear cut. I was, then, pretty clueless. But still, I am lucky ‘cos I am not one of those kids who have dictators for parents. My parents, especially my mom, encouraged me to follow my passion. I remembered her saying, “kung saan ka masaya, dun ako”.

I filed only two college applications – both for public universities, University of the Philippines and Bicol University. I withdrew my application in my dream school, Ateneo de Manila University. As much as I hate to do it, coming from a lower middle-class family and the fact that my sisters were going into a private school my dream of being an “Atenista” isn’t possible.

Coming from a public high school, UPCAT is a must take for me. But I don’t remember being too psyched about it, well, except for the fact that I bought an UPCAT reviewer which I haven’t read that much. Who can blame me? I was too focused getting into that blue university and that whole UPCAT thing was just for ego-boosting purposes and the bragging right that I passed the “freaking mother-of-all-collegiate-entrance-tests.”

In high school, I considered Columbus and Magellan as gods so it’s a no-brainer that I wrote BS Geography as my first choice in the courses offered in UP-Diliman. AB History, second choice. I told you I was a nerd kiddo and boring. Then I probably wrote either BS Nursing or Communications whatever in my second college of choice – UP Manila.

I also filed a college application in Bicol University as Plan C if my applications in UP or AdMU didn’t work in my favor. And thank God I did. BS Nursing was my first choice then BS Education. Did you know that I dreamed of being a teacher in some point during my childhood years?

I didn’t go to UP (I missed the cut-off mark by just some points) or Ateneo de Manila but the thing I learned was every single soul has his own path in life. Don’t sweat yourself too much thinking of a clear career path when you are in high school – that’s partly what college is all about, discovering who you are and what you want to do in life.