21.4.12

10 Ways To Turn Me Off

10. Turn off ako sa babaeng jejemon. Ikaw ba naman maka-receive ng gan’tong text “lAbqCkyOuHh” galing sa girlfriend mo kung di ka mawindang. 

09. Turn off  ako sa babaeng malakas pa sakin… ang body odor. Isa ito sa mga pet peeves ko actually. Kahit na siguro si Giselle Bundchen look-alike ang iharap niyo sakin kung jumajabar naman siya, thank you na lang. Hygiene is a necessity, man. It really is. 

08. Turn off ako sa babaeng dry ang sense of humor or worse, wala nito. Sobrang boring nun. At saka, baka di pa niya masakyan mga jokes ko. Awkward yun kung ganun. 

07. Turn off ko sa babaeng materialistic. Dahil wala akong pera. Boom! 

06. Turn off ako sa babaeng bitchy sa barkada ko. It doesn’t matter how we’ll she’s treating me, if she’s treating my friends on a bitchy and rude way, it’s only a matter of time before it is pointed at me. And I don’t like that. 

05. Turn off  ako sa babaeng nagyoyosi, umiinom and worst, nagda-drugs. Bakit ikaw dude gusto mo? Kung oo, lakas ng tama mo. Patingin ka na sa psychiatrist. 

04. Tun off ako sa babaeng clingy, overpossessive and too selosa. I find it cute when girls are being a bit selosa `cos it just shows na mahal niya ako and takot siyang mawala ako. But there there`s a fine line between being in love and being too much in love. Yung OA na ang pagseselos. Na kulang na lang pati Mom ko pagselosan. Ano `to, obsession? Haha.

03. Turn off ako sa babaeng makati pa sa higad or –sorry for the word- malibog. Because it’s not what trying to cultivate a lasting relationship is all about. There’s a fine line between lust and love. Ang mga relationship na lust ang foundation is usually doomed from the start. Sex is for married couples. Otherwise, it’s just fucking around.

 02.  Turn off ako sa babaeng nabibilang lang ang brain cells. Yung tipong pagpapaganda lang ang alam. Yung “clichés” ~ maganda nga pero medyo weak. Hindi lahat ng lalaki chooses beauty over brains. In fact, a lot of guys like to have an intelligent conversation rather than settle with the stereotypical limbo. And I’m one of them. Naks! 

01. And lastly, turn off ako sa babaeng mahilig mamangka sa dalawang ilog or more. In more simple term, CHEATER! Because duh, sino ba namang tao in his sane mind ang gustong niloloko siya? Ayaw na ayaw ko pa namang ginagawang tanga (so there comes the warning). Kung may gusto siyang iba, fine with a capital F. Hindi ako maghahabol. Never. Anyway, ano bang nakukuha ng isang tao sa pagtsi-cheat? Waley. I think the act is just repulsive and I’m wondering how cheaters sleep at night.

...

When we were kids, we have this picture of our ideal partners in our minds. Oh c`mon, don`t be shy. I know you have one. When I was a little bit younger, my ideal girl was a triple M ~ MATANDANG MAYAMAN NA MADALING MAMATAY. Hahaha. I`m just kidding. My ideal girl was -

1. Dapat maganda.

2. Dapat matalino.

3. Dapat mayaman.

In more simple term, dapat PERFECT which we all know don`t exist. At all. But somewhere along the road, nagbago ang requirements ko. Okay lang kahit di na maganda. Okay lang kahit di matalino. Okay lang kahit di mayaman. Now, I`m just looking for a girl who can love me for what I am. Who can accept my mistakes and my imperfections. And a girl who can look me in the eyes while saying, "Yes, I wanna grow old with you". That`s all, thank you. Bow. *sabay kaway sa audience* Haha. Ang mushy! Pang-pageant lang.

On a more serious mode.

I know that somewhere out there, out of the 8 billion people roaming this planet, there is this girl who is meant to be with me forever. She may not know it yet. I may not know it yet. But destiny will bring us together.

30 comments:

jelai said...

ehemm!!

jelai said...

hello, your post made my day. i was supposed to blog about my life's drama today, but when i read your post, i decided to post about the things that can turn me off ofcourse in a girl's perspective.

http://jelai20.blogspot.com/2012/04/10-ways-to-turn-me-off-girls.html

Malditang "Kura"cha said...

whoah! hahaha! super agree. Sino ba kasi magkakagusto sa babaeng manloloko at marume?!? hahah!

Effective daw ang paglilista sabi ng friend ko. Pag may nakaka-date siya, memorize niya yung checklist. Pag hindi swak, cross out. kala mo bumibili lang ng suka sa tindahan kung magpalit ng ka-date. lol! It's your choice. shempre pumili ka na ng pasok sa standard mo no. long time na to e. ^_^

In time Enchong... in time. darating din yan.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello there Jelai! Waaaa, so isa na akong dakilang inspirational figure? Lol.

You made my day. Napakasarap lang sa feeling. Thanks for appreciating my post. :) Gotta read your blog.

Leah said...

I agree sa #1. Yun naman talaga ang pinaka nakaka turn off, babae man o lalaki. Boys play around. REAL MEN stick around. Dapat matutong magresist sa temptation. Wag maging cheater. BAD talaga yun. :D

Maganda. matalino. Mayaman. Pag may makita ako neto, sabihan kita agad, Hoobert. haha.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

At marumi talaga Ate Kura-ching. HAHAHA.

Pak na pak. Of course, di lang naman gwapo ang may karapatang maging choosy. Siyempre pati yung mga super gwapo. Including me. *thunders* Wahaha. Si God naman di na mabiro.

Mataas ba standards ko Ate? I can lower them. Well, depende. Hoho. Pwedeng tawad. Ano `to bangketa? Lol.

Siyempre, quality boyfriend right here kaya dapat quality girlfriend din. Lolols.

I know right. Hintay lang ako.

I miss you!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello Ate Leah. Cheaters should seriously get one-way tickets to hell. Wahaha. I sounded so bitter. Lol.

Haha. Nagbago na requirements ko Ate. Okay lang kahit di na matalino or maganda, basta MAYAMAN. Hahaha. Just kidding.

eprilis said...

Wow naman! Pareho tayo, ayoko rin sa lalakeng jejemon, nahihilo ako sa kanila. Haha.

And I like the last part, so you believe in destiny huh? Most guys don't. It's a good thing you do. :)

dhianz said...

you know what funny sometimes... kung anong ayaw moh 'un ung napupunta sau... =P yeah i believe na meron tlgang isang taong destined juz for yah =) take care nd Godbless!

dhianz said...

=)

hana banana said...

be careful what you wished for coz you might just get it..haha..


nice post..parang gusto ko ring gumawa ng sarili kong checklist =)

Zen said...

Agree ako sa mga sinabi mo Hoobert. I think you are a nice guy. dahil sa mga sinabi mo, saludo ako sayo.. :)

I am Jocelle Dela Cruz said...

kahit naman anong perfect ng isang babae kung wala kang nararamdaman for her eh wala tlaga .. wala pong standard and love .. kusa yung nraramdaman .. chos !! perso syempre may kanya-kanya taung ayaw at gusto and i agree with your list ^^

iamjessiegarcia said...

this is cool! ito yung isa sa mga pending topics ng blog ko. and it is still pending as of the moment, ayoko kasing mabahiran ng bitterness ang post ko... LOL

same here, mas importante that you find the person who's willing to be with you despite of your imperfections and loves everything about you

jelai said...

I read your reply! Hehehe. You need not defend yourself. You made my day again!

You turned me on! Hahahahaha.

wander shugah said...

omg hoobert!!! amen to that! I love what you stated there! super agree sa lahat.

McRICH said...

grabe natuwa ako syo, you're the man!! basta ang suggestion ko lang, wag masyadong intindihin ang lovelife, kusang dadating ang para syo, just enjoy your bagetsness brother!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Yeah, di ako nagre-reply `pag ganung klaseng mga texts ang nare-receive ko. Hohoho.

Yeah I do Eprilis. I`m kind of mushy and all. Hahahaha.

Thanks!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hi Dhianz! Welcome to my humble abode. :)

Yeah, it`s quite ironic nga. But well, kung siya talaga ang nakalaan para sa`yo, siya talaga.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Oo you better do your own version Hana. It`s really fun. Si ano gumawa na rin. Haha. Thanks!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

What Ate Zen? Kinilig naman ako dun. Of course, I am a nice guy. Haha. Yabang ko!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello there Jocelle! Yeah, I agree with what you said. Wala naman talagang standards when it comes to love, walamg rules. Love is not definite, we define it. Wuuuut?! Hahaha.

Thanks for dropping by. :)

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Salamat! I-post mo na yan Jessie. POST! POST! POST. Haha. No, I`m just kidding. Lol. No pressure.

Yeah, mas masarap ibigin yung taong di ka babaguhin ng sapilitan. Yung tatanggapin kahit na ano ka or kahit na anong meron ka. That`s true love for me. <3

Don`t let bitterness swallow your heart. `Chos! Haha.

Thanks~

Hoobert the Awesome said...

I urned you on talaga Jelai. Oh c`mon prove it. Lol. Just kidding.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Salamat Shugah. Basta lets travel together in the future.

To Sagada and beyond!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Yes Sir McRich! It`s not my priority for the moment. :)

jelai said...

wow ang saya naman most of your fans are girls! hehehehe. i guess this post of yours got you more pogi points to be hoobert the awesome huh. hehe.

turned on talaga. because everytime i meet a guy i always ask them what the capital of finland is. some knows, some don't. but you, you know. hehehe. so why wouldn't we be turned on?

agree girls?

pauch said...

haha,when i first saw the title, sb q, babasahin q ba to, anu ngaun kung malaman q un mga nagpapaturn off sau..haha,
but im glad binasa q xa,
it made me laugh lalo na ung no7.
u'r very honest :P

this just made my day:)

anney said...

Natawa namn ako dun sa makati pa sa higad! lol!

Anonymous said...

Sa mga babae- turn off kami sa naninigarilyo, lasenggero, nagsusugal, babaero, maraming barkada at walang trabaho. Sorry, ganti ganti lang!