There are things in teenager’s life which bears cosmic obsession. I see and know people who get undue addiction on the internet, alcohol, shopping, spending cold cash on whitening soaps, texting, illegal drugs, smoking and alas, masturbation. Too bad, ako din ay isang adik. Adik na adik. Adik sa Twitter. Uh-oh.

It has now been 5 months since I signed in for Twitter. And I can say that this “Twitter” thing has gotten over me and became addictive to my dismay. But wait, I only have 39 followers as of the last count. Nope, no typo error there. It’s goddamn 3-9! Imagine that? It’s a miserable total of THIRTY NINE. Only 39 followers for Pete’s sake, would you believe? After five months? Whattaf – You’re missing half of your life people if you don’t follow me. Nah, I’m just kidding about the rant, the 39 followers I’m dead serious.

Twitter is probably the most unproductive thing (read: walang ka-kwenta kwentang bagay) one can indulge in but I love it. And I mean it real hard. It’s a great boredom killer, stress reliever. Walang panama ang masturbation. Hahaha. Twitter really makes me silly and a little bit naughty. Kahit walang kabuluhang bagay, itini-tweet ko. “Just got home”. Tweet. “Good morning”. Tweet. “I’m in (insert name of place here)”. Tweet. “I’m watching porn”. Tweet. Wala lang. It’s one easy way para magpa-PANSIN sa world wide web. Magpa-SIKAT. Magpa-EPAL

I’m on Twitter day and night, in sickness and in health – before breakfast, at lunch, during breaks, and before going to bed. Sometimes more when I don’t have any work. I mostly use Twitter to keep people updated with my every move. Feeling celebrity lang. The thing is I personally know only about 10% of those I follow. The rest are combination of random adds, mostly Twitter & Tumblr celebrities and people I don’t remember meeting at gigs.

Why do I spend so much time on Twitter? THESE.

1. It makes me feel good. Kung badtrip na badtrip ako or kapag wala lang magawa, buksan ko lang ang Twitter ko at magbasa ng mga tweets. Sure yun na nakakawala ng badtrip. Agad-agad. Sobra. Tested and proven. If someone follows me or retweet my tweet (huwat?), kinikilig ako. To the bones. And I’m flirt like that.  J

2. I can be as tsismoso as possible. I don’t usually eavesdrop in conversations. Pero sa Twitter, iba. Ume-epal ako sa mga usapan. But I don’t want people to call me “tsismoso”. I prefer to be called  an “investigative reporter”. One of my favorite things about being tsismoso is trying to look like I’m NOT tsismoso. I mean, if I’m I’m going to be nosey, I want to at least be clever about it. 

3. It`s a PR thing. Twitter drives traffic to my blog so I’m sobrang grateful to that cute little birdie. In fact, two of my new blog readers found my blog through Twitter. Fucken’ sweet! But no, I don’t use Twitter just to promote stuffs. 

4. Sangkatutak ang cute (katulad ko). That’s the main reason why I created a Twitter account. There’s an old saying that goes like this, “birds of the same feather are the same birds – este, flocks together”. HAHAHA. ‘Chos! Pero talaga namang nakaka-inspire magpasikat kapag may cuteness kang ka-tweet. Sometimes, nakaka-distract nga lang. Ang shit! 

5. There’s a high chance na sumikat ako. As much as other people think that I’m talented, the only thing I know is that I am not. Mukha lang talaga akong talented pero hindi. Nakakadaya lang ang good looks ko. Ansabe? But as of now, medyo malayo pa ang pagsikat ko. Madami pa akong kakaining kanin. But I’m not losing hope. I believe in the power of my dreams. ‘Cos “dream is a hope that never sleeps”. PUNYEEETANG MUSHHY!

The only thing I don’t like about Twitter is its 140 characters maximum limit. It’s such a challenge. Brevity is not my thing, you know. When I'm engaged to talk, I talk a lot. I'm a certified talking machine.


Follow me. 

Stalk me.

Love me. 

It’s @hoobtheawesome baby! Don’t worry, I don’t do cyber bullying. So you’re pretty safe with me.


Hoobert the Awesome said...

Follow me or else...

a. ... I will kiss you.

b. ... you will kiss me.

Take your pick.


Leah said...

Hahaha! Ayos ah. lol.. offline ako ngayon sa Twitter. Ang hiraaaaap! Pero kakayanin ko to. :p

I have Twitter kasi it's fun.. In Twitter, there are always conversations. Minsan sarap magbasa lang, minsan din, sarap umepal. hehe..

Medyo naiinis lang ako nang slight sa mga taong gumawa lang ng Twitter para lang magpromote nang magpromote. Like.. wala na syang random tweet, kundi puro lang blog updates and ads. Pero syempre, respeto na lang din. Diskarte nila yun.. pero yun lang, inis lang ako nang slight. hihi..

Enjoy Twitter!! Pag tumagal, dadami din followers mo. :)

Flordeliz Fullo said...

Oh well! LOL on #4 and #2! Hahaha! Nice blog post! A fellow twitter addict here... Hoho! :)

glentot said...

I've joined Twitter years ago pero recently ko lang ito nagustuhan.

Vincent said...

Very amusing statements, written in a way that suits ones mood. "Taglish" is what makes it count and attract peoples attention because they make you happy with a sense of humor and none sensorship words that adds up spice.

eprilis said...

Wala akong Twitter eh, so I really can't relate to this post. Natuwa lang ako sa fifth reason mo why you use Twitter.
Dear Hoobert, sana sumali ka na lang ng PBB noon. It's an easy ticket to stardom. Baka ikaw pa yung naging Big Winner instead of Slater. Haha.

McRICH said...

yun pala yon kaya nakaka-adik magtwitter, ako kasi walang twitter, well hindi talaga mahilig sa technology kaya huling-huli na ko hehe enjoy twittering haha!

ThePinayWanderer said...

joined twitter last feb but I' not that active, just checking it once in a while. Pero agree ako sa #2, pwede talaga maging tsismoso/tsismosa sa twitter, hehe!

ShatterShards said...

madalas ka na pala ulit mag-blog. haha!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Musta naman yang tweeting hiatus mo Ate Leah. Anhirap `te? Hahaha. Pero tapos na yun ngayon right? Pwede ka na ulit mag-Twitter. Haha. Oh diba nakaya?

`Yun yun e. Twitter is full of epals. And I`m not ashamed I`m one of them. Haha. But I think may sense naman ang pagpapa-epal ko. Hohoho.

Yeah. Twitter is for everyone. Kaya kiber kiber na lang. Yun ang gusto nila, may magagawa ba tayo? Waley. Hahaha.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Wooh~ Isa rin self-admitted adik. Adik na adik! Sa Twitter nga lang. Hello there Flor. Thanks for visiting my blog. So much appreciated :>

And oh, fina-follow mo na ako. Thanks. <3 See you around!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Yeah, I heard na it`s been around for years na din Glentot. Dati rinig-rinig ko lang din siya pero di naman ako gumagawa ng acct `cos nakakatamad kaya. Hahaha.

Recently lang ako gumawa, mga November or December yata yun.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

New ka lang din sa blogger Vincent? I viewed your profile pero empty pa rin. So thanks for commenting!

Anyway, yeah Taglish is the thing. Kumo-conyo lang e. Hahaha. Prolly this is the longest Taglish post I did in the history of my blogging career. Hahaha.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

I really love you Eprilis, alam mo yan. Hahaha. Hindi ko yata kaya yung ginagawa nila. Shy ako e. :> Pero deserved din naman yun ni Slater alligater. Haha.

Hey, sbeen a while. I kind of miss you & your comments. Hohoho.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Try mo Kuya McRich. For fun lang naman. Hehe. I think it`s normal naman. Mas malakas lang yata talaga ang hatak ng social media sa mga teens. Idk why. Maybe because childish yung idea kaya ganun.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

High five Pinay Wanderer! Ako din nagiging tsismoso dahil sa amputek na Twitter na yan! Wadapak. Hahaha.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Opo Kuya Shattershards. Its been a while na. I kind of miss your words of wisdom. Huwaaaat?

Hahaha. Lezz keep in touch!

athena said...

this post made me follow you.
haha. kakatuwa =)

Allen said...

Nakafollow na ko sayo ha. hahahaha.

I started Twitter in 2009 at 3 yrs na kong adik na adik. hahaha.

Rizalenio said...

Very nice addiction.

Twitter is my new CNN coz I don't watch TV too much.

steven dela cruz said...

ou nga, naku twitter, ganyan din ako, pero mas addict ako sa FB pero mas additing talaga ang twitter, baka sinumpa yung ng creators? haha, na lahat ng gagamit ay maaaddict ng bongga.

Nakakatuwa lang sa feeling yung na retweet ka ng fave mung artista, tao o show, may fulfillment, haha. XD

at totoo, nagiging tsimoso tayu at mas nauuna pa ang twitter sa newsbreaks, haha. Duon ko nga unang nalaman na deadly na si W.Houston eh. :) iba yung feed na nabibigay niya at trends (worldwide) sa mga artista. :)

I ♥ reading your blog, o, ifofollow na kita wah? follow mu din ako para tweet tweet tayu. :)

Mabasa sina kita sa blog ko. :)

wander shugah said...

id do both haha kiss you and youll kiss me! chos! :D followed you!

ShatterShards said...

Words of wisdom talaga? Bullshit lang yun, ang ganda lang pakinggan kasi ingles. haha!

Elal Jane Lasola said...

ayun nakita ko rin blog mo! followed you sa twitter teh! hahaha see yah around ph :D