BAKIT INIIBIG KO ANG TWITTER?

There are things in teenager’s life which bears cosmic obsession. I see and know people who get undue addiction on the internet, alcohol, shopping, spending cold cash on whitening soaps, texting, illegal drugs, smoking and alas, masturbation. Too bad, ako din ay isang adik. Adik na adik. Adik sa Twitter. Uh-oh.

It has now been 5 months since I signed in for Twitter. And I can say that this “Twitter” thing has gotten over me and became addictive to my dismay. But wait, I only have 39 followers as of the last count. Nope, no typo error there. It’s goddamn 3-9! Imagine that? It’s a miserable total of THIRTY NINE. Only 39 followers for Pete’s sake, would you believe? After five months? Whattaf – You’re missing half of your life people if you don’t follow me. Nah, I’m just kidding about the rant, the 39 followers I’m dead serious.

Twitter is probably the most unproductive thing (read: walang ka-kwenta kwentang bagay) one can indulge in but I love it. And I mean it real hard. It’s a great boredom killer, stress reliever. Walang panama ang masturbation. Hahaha. Twitter really makes me silly and a little bit naughty. Kahit walang kabuluhang bagay, itini-tweet ko. “Just got home”. Tweet. “Good morning”. Tweet. “I’m in (insert name of place here)”. Tweet. “I’m watching porn”. Tweet. Wala lang. It’s one easy way para magpa-PANSIN sa world wide web. Magpa-SIKAT. Magpa-EPAL. 

I’m on Twitter day and night, in sickness and in health – before breakfast, at lunch, during breaks, and before going to bed. Sometimes more when I don’t have any work. I mostly use Twitter to keep people updated with my every move. Feeling celebrity lang. The thing is I personally know only about 10% of those I follow. The rest are combination of random adds, mostly Twitter & Tumblr celebrities and people I don’t remember meeting at gigs.

Why do I spend so much time on Twitter? THESE.

1. It makes me feel good. Kung badtrip na badtrip ako or kapag wala lang magawa, buksan ko lang ang Twitter ko at magbasa ng mga tweets. Sure yun na nakakawala ng badtrip. Agad-agad. Sobra. Tested and proven. If someone follows me or retweet my tweet (huwat?), kinikilig ako. To the bones. And I’m flirt like that.  J

2. I can be as tsismoso as possible. I don’t usually eavesdrop in conversations. Pero sa Twitter, iba. Ume-epal ako sa mga usapan. But I don’t want people to call me “tsismoso”. I prefer to be called  an “investigative reporter”. One of my favorite things about being tsismoso is trying to look like I’m NOT tsismoso. I mean, if I’m I’m going to be nosey, I want to at least be clever about it. 

3. It`s a PR thing. Twitter drives traffic to my blog so I’m sobrang grateful to that cute little birdie. In fact, two of my new blog readers found my blog through Twitter. Fucken’ sweet! But no, I don’t use Twitter just to promote stuffs. 

4. Sangkatutak ang cute (katulad ko). That’s the main reason why I created a Twitter account. There’s an old saying that goes like this, “birds of the same feather are the same birds – este, flocks together”. HAHAHA. ‘Chos! Pero talaga namang nakaka-inspire magpasikat kapag may cuteness kang ka-tweet. Sometimes, nakaka-distract nga lang. Ang shit! 

5. There’s a high chance na sumikat ako. As much as other people think that I’m talented, the only thing I know is that I am not. Mukha lang talaga akong talented pero hindi. Nakakadaya lang ang good looks ko. Ansabe? But as of now, medyo malayo pa ang pagsikat ko. Madami pa akong kakaining kanin. But I’m not losing hope. I believe in the power of my dreams. ‘Cos “dream is a hope that never sleeps”. PUNYEEETANG MUSHHY!


The only thing I don’t like about Twitter is its 140 characters maximum limit. It’s such a challenge. Brevity is not my thing, you know. When I'm engaged to talk, I talk a lot. I'm a certified talking machine.

SHAMELESS PLUG IN.

Follow me. 

Stalk me.

Love me. 

It’s @hoobtheawesome baby! Don’t worry, I don’t do cyber bullying. So you’re pretty safe with me.