BAKIT INIIBIG KO ANG TWITTER?

There are things in teenager’s life which bears cosmic obsession. I see and know people who get undue addiction on the internet, alcohol, shopping, spending cold cash on whitening soaps, texting, illegal drugs, smoking and alas, masturbation. Too bad, ako din ay isang adik. Adik na adik. Adik sa Twitter. Uh-oh.

It has now been 5 months since I signed in for Twitter. And I can say that this “Twitter” thing has gotten over me and became addictive to my dismay. But wait, I only have 39 followers as of the last count. Nope, no typo error there. It’s goddamn 3-9! Imagine that? It’s a miserable total of THIRTY NINE. Only 39 followers for Pete’s sake, would you believe? After five months? Whattaf – You’re missing half of your life people if you don’t follow me. Nah, I’m just kidding about the rant, the 39 followers I’m dead serious.

Twitter is probably the most unproductive thing (read: walang ka-kwenta kwentang bagay) one can indulge in but I love it. And I mean it real hard. It’s a great boredom killer, stress reliever. Walang panama ang masturbation. Hahaha. Twitter really makes me silly and a little bit naughty. Kahit walang kabuluhang bagay, itini-tweet ko. “Just got home”. Tweet. “Good morning”. Tweet. “I’m in (insert name of place here)”. Tweet. “I’m watching porn”. Tweet. Wala lang. It’s one easy way para magpa-PANSIN sa world wide web. Magpa-SIKAT. Magpa-EPAL. 

I’m on Twitter day and night, in sickness and in health – before breakfast, at lunch, during breaks, and before going to bed. Sometimes more when I don’t have any work. I mostly use Twitter to keep people updated with my every move. Feeling celebrity lang. The thing is I personally know only about 10% of those I follow. The rest are combination of random adds, mostly Twitter & Tumblr celebrities and people I don’t remember meeting at gigs.

Why do I spend so much time on Twitter? THESE.

1. It makes me feel good. Kung badtrip na badtrip ako or kapag wala lang magawa, buksan ko lang ang Twitter ko at magbasa ng mga tweets. Sure yun na nakakawala ng badtrip. Agad-agad. Sobra. Tested and proven. If someone follows me or retweet my tweet (huwat?), kinikilig ako. To the bones. And I’m flirt like that.  J

2. I can be as tsismoso as possible. I don’t usually eavesdrop in conversations. Pero sa Twitter, iba. Ume-epal ako sa mga usapan. But I don’t want people to call me “tsismoso”. I prefer to be called  an “investigative reporter”. One of my favorite things about being tsismoso is trying to look like I’m NOT tsismoso. I mean, if I’m I’m going to be nosey, I want to at least be clever about it. 

3. It`s a PR thing. Twitter drives traffic to my blog so I’m sobrang grateful to that cute little birdie. In fact, two of my new blog readers found my blog through Twitter. Fucken’ sweet! But no, I don’t use Twitter just to promote stuffs. 

4. Sangkatutak ang cute (katulad ko). That’s the main reason why I created a Twitter account. There’s an old saying that goes like this, “birds of the same feather are the same birds – este, flocks together”. HAHAHA. ‘Chos! Pero talaga namang nakaka-inspire magpasikat kapag may cuteness kang ka-tweet. Sometimes, nakaka-distract nga lang. Ang shit! 

5. There’s a high chance na sumikat ako. As much as other people think that I’m talented, the only thing I know is that I am not. Mukha lang talaga akong talented pero hindi. Nakakadaya lang ang good looks ko. Ansabe? But as of now, medyo malayo pa ang pagsikat ko. Madami pa akong kakaining kanin. But I’m not losing hope. I believe in the power of my dreams. ‘Cos “dream is a hope that never sleeps”. PUNYEEETANG MUSHHY!


The only thing I don’t like about Twitter is its 140 characters maximum limit. It’s such a challenge. Brevity is not my thing, you know. When I'm engaged to talk, I talk a lot. I'm a certified talking machine.

SHAMELESS PLUG IN.

Follow me. 

Stalk me.

Love me. 

It’s @hoobtheawesome baby! Don’t worry, I don’t do cyber bullying. So you’re pretty safe with me.

THE AWESOMENESS OF BEING ME

Hello there. My name is Hoobert the Awesome (oh, we’re thinking the same thing – yup, awesomeness oozes from that name). I’m sure some people might raise eyebrows and think that it’s nothing more than a name. Well, THINK AGAIN. I am the crown king of awesomeness. No, that’s not self-appointed. Look guys, I don’t want to sound delusional or whatever but I’m awesome for a myriad of reasons. And besides, my girlfriend told me I’m awesome. Who am I to argue? If that doesn’t convince you of my glorious awesomeness, perhaps this will.


1. I don’t smoke. I drink very rarely. I’m a good boy to say the least.

2. My Mom is the world’s best hands down. I’m not a rich kid but she spoiled me, her unico hijo, in a way. She doesn’t even let me touch the dishes. Growing up, she has always been there for me no matter what. From simple things like packing up my things to doing the laundry. An all-around mom indeed. This may sound a little backwards, but I’m very proud of her. While she will tell you that she’s not perfect, I think she’s pretty effing awesome.

3. All those weird little things I do without giving second thoughts about it. Like, singing made up songs and doing “popping moves” in public.

4. I got fired from my last job because I was too awesome to work there.

5. I don't just have a girlfriend. I have girl friendsssss. Hey don’t misquote me on that, that’s two words (one: girl, two: friends). My girlfriend clearly knows that I’m a girl’s best friend. LMAO. Look at me, I’m funny, sweet, good looking and no-non sense guy who obviously has it all together. I think this is why girls love being around me. Let’s just say it has become a regular thing with me – being with girls all the time. Having a lot of girl friends have its own perks though. No, not that FWB sort of thing. Like, you can spend time with her talking about stuffs without the testosterone-fueled competition.

6. I’m so damn good looking. I’m dabomb.com. I looked like Enchong Dee to LBG and his gang. Bodie Cruz to my former freshman college mates. And Witwisit Hiranwongkul to my girlfriend. If looking good is a sport, I’d be David Beckham hands down.

7. I have been with the greatest girl in the world for four months and eight days now. So if you wonder why I’m always smiling nowadays, it’s all her fault. LMAO. She is such an angel! She has no fuss at all and I love that in a girl.

She’s lucky to have me, yes I know. But I’m luckier to have her, just so you know. ♥

8. I’m awesome because I am a blogger and everyone knows bloggers are awesome creatures so hands down, I win.

9. I am so awesome that I sometimes forget how awesome I am and started being humble.

People are probably still to question my awesomeness after reading this awesome article. If these are not enough, watch out for "Hoobert the Awesome's Book of Awesomeness" soon to hit bookstores. *wink*