16.1.12

Living Inside A Pressure Cooker


I don’t know how to entitle this piece so it ended up as that. ‘Less you find “My Monster Mom” a more fitting title. Well, I don’t.

I’ve been down the past four months because I felt like I had no specific directions in my life. I felt that I’m one of those 20 years old whose clocks were ticking. As much as my family perceived that I know what I want to do in life, the only clear thing to me now is that I’m clueless.

It also doesn’t help that I’m currently staying with Mom. As odd as it may sound but sometimes I feel that our house is this huge pressure cooker with mom being the regulator. And me? The chicken that is being roasted. Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom so much and everybody, even our dogs, can attest to that. She’s wonderful. She loves us so much and do her best. It’s just that my mom is a total nagger (and this is where I disintegrate and crumble for calling my mom a nagger). Every time she nags, it puts pressure on me to do something. I’m like “I need to do this ‘cos Mom wants me to do this”, sensing that if I resist, I will hurt her feelings. The problem is it doesn’t give me much fulfillment. Yeah I know, as her son I have the obligation to please her but I also have the right and responsibility to make decisions on my own.

She always find something negative to comment on whether it be from couple of years ago and worse, something that didn’t even occurred. There’s so much to say about me I know – my eternal laziness, my messy room, my things all over the living room. But when she starts to talk and elaborate about it, oh forget it. Every time I do something wrong, she’ll scold and nag me for it so badly like I never did good in my entire life. And she’s going to recall that over and over and over again. What’s pissing me off is that she does not listen to my protest. If I’d speak out, there will be a big blow-out for sure. So now when she nags at me, I just put my mental mute button on (Shh. That’s a secret.). Was I being too arrogant and disrespectful for not listening to what Mom has to say? I am actually open to hearing opposing sides as long as that side has valid reasons which my Mom quite evidently doesn’t have.

On blogging. My Mom knows I have a blog. Actually, the whole family knows. She even commented when I published (the highly-controversial) “Dear Mr. President” which pushed me to do a little editing so all this time I thought she’s cool with this whole blogging thing. But I was wrong. The last time we had an argument, she blurted out, “Ano ba ang nakukuha mo sa pagba-blog? Ang layo naman niyan sa kinuha mong degree. Kalandian lang yan”. She doesn’t know how much pain that few words caused me. It hurts so much. It’s like she can’t fully understand that blogging makes me happy. If my younger sister prays for Blahniks at night, I pray for more blog views and comments. Seriously and please refrain yourself from laughing.

No matter what, I wouldn’t trade my mom for anybody else. I love her so much for the life and love she gave me. One thing I learned from this: Be MORE careful of my words. I realized that I need to weigh down my words and consider their impacts on others.

The other week, she was nagging about my sister’s excessive use of her cellphone. She was nagging and nagging and nagging. I increased the volume of the television to level with her voice. When all of a sudden, she turned to me and said: “Ikaw naman, ano ang balak mong gawin sa buhay mo”?

I’ve contemplated on it for days. Tomorrow I’ll tell her my decision.

Papasok na lang po ako sa showbiz. J

Shameless plug-in again. ^

40 comments:

Hoobert the Awesome said...

I hope di niya mabasa ito. 'Cos if she does, I'm dead. Hahaha. LOLJK.

I love you Mama! <3

Markable said...

My mom knows my blog but it's good that she doesn't know how to operate the computer. Ayoko ngang turuan! Stalker. lol

I feel for you Hoobert. Pressure cooker rin bahay namin like almost literally too especially at noon. lols

My mom's also a NAGGERaya (lols) but she supports me on my blogging. :-)

OMG, 20 ka rin pala? Hahaha.

Rizalenio said...

Hahahaha. Tamang desisyon, Hoobert. Enter showbiz.

Seriously, ganyan din ang nanay ko. Now that I'm far from her, I miss her and her nagging voice. It's their way of showing na they are guiding us. Ngayon, I want to be reminded again by my mom. Time flies so fast. Things will change fast. Our moms will get old.

Tears. Ayan! Parang magshoshowbiz na din ako sa scene na ito. Haha.

Aiza Coronado said...

Awww, I think every mom is a nagger. Well, my mom certainly is. But I loooove her. It's just that I'm not used to her nagging anymore. (I'm working somewhere far.) But I'd like her to move in with me.

Lol. I was fascinated with your ending. And yes, I am praying for the same thing. My blog means sooooo much to me. When I'm sad, I wanna blog. When I'm happy, I wanna blog! Blogging gets me through life. :)

hana banana said...

moms are all like that...as they say, "Mother knows best..."

basta maging patient ka lang...if patient ka na, be more patient ^^

in time, ma rerealize mo na lang, it will bring out the best in you...

anu daw?!

haha...

juneosidabenitez said...

hay, ganyan talaga ang mother..ako nga, kahit pressured and di sila satisfy sa work ko now go lang ng go. everytime she nags me, what i did was to do a very effective approach "silent treatment"..less talk less mistake less nag. :p

Hiyono said...

It's really a big problem when you're working on your mom's goals for you instead of your own. And it's correct to just not mind what your mom nags you about - sometimes it pays to listen since this might help you become better - in order to avoid further complications such as shouting at each other. That my friend, is the big no-no. I try to keep it all in whenever my mom starts yelling at me.

And wow, my mom also utters insensitive words but I know she really doesn't mean them. Sometimes, I think she's only envious of the fact that I know more about a certain topic than her. And hey, see, you never get nothing from all this nagging. At least you know how important it is to hold your tongue.

docgelo said...

sakaling mabasa ito ng nanay mo, she'll have another reason to nag at you! *just teasing!*

wait till the time comes that you'll marry another nagger, *just kidding!*

and on "kalandian ang blogging" --natawa ako kasi bagong perception ito! last week kasi may nabasa ako, ang blogging ko daw, ay bragging. since when blogging and bragging becomes synonymous? the same goes with kalandian? with due respect to your mom, people will not understand what we feel when we blog unless they're a passionate blogger themselves. agree?..seriously.

kg said...

yes, all moms become naggers at some point. pero ako hindi! haha! joke!

mahirap ang kalagayan mo jubert! i know we have disagreements with our mothers, but t the end of the day,they will be the ones who will always be there for us. so th next time she nags you, just tune her voice out para wala ka ng isipin na kung ano man! ;)

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Tomo yon. Mostly kasi ang mga moms Mark e ginagamit against us ang mga info na nalalaman nila through our blogs. Lols. Well, ganun Mom ko. HAHAHA.

Yey, 20 lang din ako. Ikaw din? Apir!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Yay, kapag nabadtrip talaga ako, mag-aartista ako. Hahaha.

OO naman Rizalenio. Ok din naman ang mom ko - loving, thoughtful, maasikaso &&& lahat-lahat na. Yun nga lang, nagger siya. Hahaha.

Sige, sabay tayong mag-artista. :D

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Thank God, I'm not alone Aiza. I loooove my mom too. Honestly, sabi nga nila Mama's boy daw ako 'cos masyado akong dependent sa Mom ko. In a way, it's true.

And I'm happy na answered prayer siya. My blog is on the right track. Yayayay.

There's is something abt blogging. Nakaka-fulfill. Especially now na malapit ng mag-3 years ang Chillspot ko. Ching!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello Hanna. I share the same motto(?): "MOTHERS KNOWS BEST". Pero di naman lagi. May times din na sablay sila. Hehehe. And di yun matanggap ng Mom ko. :D

Siguro now di ko pa na-aappreciate. Baka sa mga susunod na araw. Kapag bumukod na ako sa kanila. Hahaha. Pero malayo pa yun. Waaaah.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

That's my problem June. Minsan di ko din maiwasan ang bibig ko. I'm not really proud of that but I can't help it. So, doble ang effort ko to have self-control pero minsan anhirap. Hehe. Pag di na kaya: walk-out na lang. :D

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello Hiyono! Yes of course. If I speak out, there will be a big fight for sure so most of the time, I choose to keep all the anger inside me and cry in silence. Pero minsan di rin mapigilan. :| Ako din naman ang talo in the end.

Siguro ganun nga din. Just to get even, she'll say insensitive words. And alam niyang I love blogging so yun ang tinitira niya. :(

Hoobert the Awesome said...

HAHAHA yun nga Doc gelo. Buti naman mukhang hindi pa nababasa ng Mom ko kundi lagot talaga ako. Walang katapusang nag na naman kapag nagkataon.

Sana naman hindi ganun ang magiging asawa ko kundi hihiwalayan ko siya. Lols. Who knows?

Yes, I agree. They won't understand a thing 'cos di naman nila alam kung ano ang goodness ng blogging. Sabi ko nga for me, "blogging is my orgasm".

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Naniniwala naman ako dyan Ate Grace. Parang ambait mong Mom. :)

Of course, na-aappreciate ko naman everything that Mom is doing for me. Yun nga lang, di ko maiwasan di mag-senti everytime na napapagalitan niya ako ng sobra-sobra for some petty mistakes.

McRICH said...

just give her a little more understanding. remember that when you were still an infant, you kept on nagging (crying) her too. ganon lang talaga mga mommies,medyo stress lang sila :)

flamindevil said...

haha. i missed reading your posts. panalo ang ending. pero I have to tell you in advance, magsasawa ka rin sa showbiz. endless autograph sessions, mall tours, tv interviews, social gatherings...i've been there, done that. TOINKS. LOL.

ganyan talaga mga mommy. ganyan din mommy ko before. you'll learn to appreciate her as you grow older (and wiser).though I have to admit na it was a painful comment hearing that from her about your blog. kaya yan. konting pasensya lang :)

Mei said...

Ang tapang! Mababasa ng mama mo yan at papagalitan ka. hahahaha.
Ako naman kay papa ako naiinis minsan. Kasi parang wala akong ginawang tama sa paningin nya. Kahit ako yung tama, mas kakampihan nya pa mga kapatid ko. Kaloka talaga hehe pero the best sya pag nasa mood. Pwede mo sya sabihan ng "Ang kapal ng mukha mo Pa!" hahahaha

At ano yung 219 days of summer? nacurious ako haha

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Thanks Rich for giving me a wonderful insight. Oo nga no. From Mom's stories pa naman, I was very demanding nung bata ako (ngayon, parang oo pa rin). HAHAHA. Ayaw kong itanong kung iyakin ako pero parang di naman. 'Cos di naman ako ganun ngayon. :)

Thank you talaga. <3 Isasapuso ko yan!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Spoken like a true celebrity. HAHAHA. That`s also what I'm thinking Pareng Rye. At saka iniisip ko baka sumikat ako ng husto, mawalan ako ng time sa family ko and sa blogging. For sure, malulungkot ang readers ko. Lols.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Wag naman sana Mei. `Til now, di pa naman niya nababasa. Hehe. Pero sa tingin mo, mapapagalitan ba ako nito? Bumawi naman ako sa dulo, di`ba?

Hey kinabahan talaga ako kanina. I felt so stupid pa nga `cos I shed some tears tapos false alarm naman pala. Hahaha. Ganun ako ka-emo pagdating sa blog ko. :) Ang nakakatawa I`m planning na yung gagawin ko sa new blog ko. Tapos ayun, pag log-in ko, na-access ko agad. :) Gusto kong magta-talon. Hahaha.

Actually, yung 219 Days of Summer is my own story. This is another attempt for me to write a blog like this. Sana successful. Di pa tapos, mga 40% pa lang. Sana maihabol sa Valentine`s.

Umi said...

Moms are just damn crazy sometimes. Pero siguro tignan mo na lang yung better parts ng mom mo when you're feeling bad about her. Hihi.

At tama. Pumasok ka na lang sa showbiz. :P

Christeen said...

haha gaya ng lahat ng mom - ganun din mom ko :) supper nagger din sya and OCD sa house, pero she changed a lot after she got cancer and survided from it. She learned to slowdown :) - your mom will understand you in time.

Blair Villanueva said...

i love your blog! just keep on doing it.. pasasaan at maiintindihan din yan ng mom mo.. my mom's knows I operate 4 blogs and still counting :)

kim buenafe said...

i think almost all mothers are like that. :) but as they say, if at some point in your life you didn't hate her, it means she's not doing her job well. hope you'll find your track soon!

Sendo said...

nagger din ang mom ko paminsan-minsan. dati masyado siyang pakialamera sa mga ginagawa ko..hindi niya nagugustuhan ang hilig ko sa theater arts, blogging, digital art, at ang church activities ko. but eventually she got to understand it when she saw some changes in me. charing hehe. hindi kami masyadong open sa nanay ko pero kwela ang pagka nagger niya kaya sinasakyan ko na lang siya. siyempre nanay ko siya, kaya napag aralan ko na ang style niya..kaya natutunan ko ng sakyan lahat ng mga nag nag at kung ano ano pa niya. ^^ so hoobert, pag aralan mo rin ang nanay mo ng mabuti. ang likes at dislikes niya etc etc para magkasabayan kayo ^_^ dinadaan ko karin sa timing ang lahat pag gusto ko kausapin nanay ko. nagpapagood shot ako parati para papayagang umalis hehe..dati inis na inis rin ako ke mudra...pero i somehow learned to level with her...single mom siya, at only son ako, kaya masyado siya overprotective sakin to the point of being obsessed and possessive haha...sabi ng ang mga barkada ko...parang girlfriend ko na si mudra. as of now, i spend time with my mom...as much as possible ung hindi bitin..kasi in time, i'll get a girl, i'll get married, i'll make a family and a children.. kasi in time mawawalay din me with her and i'll have bigger responsibilities and priorities and not just pleasing myself or her...maybe you have to step out of the usual...like maybe u can invite her somewhere...ung weird ba para sa kanya hehe...para makausap mo siya...basta set the mood, grab the timing hehe....Surely in time ul get to understand your mom more. mahirap lang siguro at first...but ul get there ^_^ oh well so much with my blahs ^_^ i know u love and appreciate your mom very much...masyado ng cliche to but---> you'll get to understand her in time ^_^ God bless

Sendo said...

erratum: and children... hihi

Addendum.
Sabi nga sa Bible honor your mother and father. Dati di ko ma gets...how could I honor my mother eh hindi niya nga ino-honor ang mga gusto ko gawin sa buhay..I have life...and I want to be in control of it...I have dreams..and I want my dreams to come true. Eventually, I get to understand her. So I tried to think like her...but I knew I couldn't get to understand everything of her...pero somehow na enlighten ako by taking time to observe what she does...and "guessing" her motives. Grabe ang mga magulang...they'll do everything for their children...they'll nag as much as they can for their children hehe...I dont fully understand my mom, but ung kunting enlightenment that i mentioned made me respect her even more and submit to her. I understand na parents should take time to listen to us and understand us...my mother has done it already and she's trying to do it even more....kasi sinabi ko sa kanya gusto ko and this and that these and those..although most of the time indirectly...ung inde diretso and inde madrama ang pagkasabi...hehe...so im sure ur mom will get to understand u provided with a good conversation..or kung ano ba. hehe..ikaw lang nakakaaalam... ^^ so I hope ul fix that feelings on your mom soon. ^^

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Hello Umi! Well, pinag-iisipan ko pa ang cons and pros ng pagpasok sa showbiz. Naaawa naman kasi ako sa mga young stars ngayon baka mawalan ng work pag naging artista ako. HAHAHA. :)

Hoobert the Awesome said...

I'm hoping for that too Christeen! I know maiintindihan niya din ako and masasakyan ang mga trip ko sa buhay :)

APIR! Tayo na ang may mga nagger at OCD na nanay. Our moms FTW!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

HAHAHA ikaw na Blair ang super blogger! Honestly, bilib talaga ako sa mga bloggers that can maintain 2 or more blogs. Di ko kaya yun. I remember gumawa ako ng tumblr account ko pero di ganun nagtagal. Of course, loyal ako sa blogspot. Di ko iiwan! :)

Anyway, thanks sa pagbisita. & thank you for the nice words!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

"...if at some point in your life you didn't hate her, it means she's not doing her job well."

Yay. I agree with this. Parents esp mommies have this ability to inspire resentment in their own children, particularly if they have the audacity to be right.

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Ikaw na ang mahabang mag-comment Sendong! HAHAHA. Pero thanks ng marami sa mga advices. I'll try to do all that.

Kaya lang di ako ganun kagaling magpa-good shot. Medyo tamad din kasi ako. Hehe. Ayaw na ayaw kong naglilinis. :)

Di naman ganun ka-strict mom ko pagdating sa paglabas-labas ko. Sa pagba-blog ko lang talaga siya naiirita. Ewan ko lang kung bakit. :(

Siguro kapag naging magulang na din ako, mas lubos kong ma-aappreciate yung mga ginawa/ginagawa niya for me.

Serenity said...

I think everyone feels this way about their mother. It's difficult to find the happy medium between pleasing your parent(s) and doing what you need/want to do.

Also, praying for more blog comments and views is serious business. Blahniks are nice, but I think your prayers are just fine too. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get your message (whatever it may be) to the world in any medium.

eprilis said...

My mom's a nagger too and there are times when I just wanna shut her up but di ko naman kayang gawin. Haha. Mahal ko yun eh.

I know how you feel, I wanted to be better in everything bcuz of my mom. I took up Nursing bcuz it's what she wanted. Now, I'm 20,fresh grad, waiting for the Board Exam result, but doesn't want to pursue Nursing. I don't know what I want, what to do, and where to go. I feel stuck. I guess everyone feels this way at some point in our lives. And in times like this, we need our mom the most. Yes, they nag too much sometimes, but they always give the best advice.:)

Kung gusto mo talagang mag-artista, eh di go! mukhang may future ka naman eh.lol. :)

Hoobert the Awesome said...

"It's difficult to find the happy medium between pleasing your parent(s) and doing what you need/want to do. ~ Serenity

I can`t agree more. Of course, I also wants to make my mom happy but not in a way that would compromise my happiness.

Thanks for visiting this humble blog of mine. So much appreciated!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

"It's difficult to find the happy medium between pleasing your parent(s) and doing what you need/want to do. ~ Serenity

I can`t agree more. Of course, I also wants to make my mom happy but not in a way that would compromise my happiness.

Thanks for visiting this humble blog of mine. So much appreciated!

Hoobert the Awesome said...

Really? I`m also a BSN grad Eprilis, well, nurse na nga. But unlike you, di naman ako pinilit ni Mama na mag-nursing. Ako lang naman may gusto, ewan parang trip lang nung high school `cos eto yung parang in na course. Medyo nagsisisi na nga ako ngayon `cos honestly wala akong drive to practice my profession. Ewan ko.

Nakakainis na nga `cos ambata ko pa para mag-middle life crisis. Lol.

But I kinda agree that "mother knows best" but not always. Hehehe.

At may future talaga? You made lol.

NaiveG said...

I kinda envy you. i never experienced to be nag by a mother. (My mom is a DH in HK and we only have a virtual mom daughter relationship). I have a nagger father (LOL) but way back in high school. And right now i think i have a Virtual family.. sad but i'm used to it..
BTW. I enjoyed reading most of your post. Keep blogging. God Bless.