A Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Ex-Girlfriend, 

I am not really sure if you’d be able to read this but whatever. This will be my last letter to you. This is a closure to everything – no inhibitions, no future hopes and promises, nothing else but closure.

It’s already been five months since that heartbreaking night. But you broke my heart a couple of times before that and many times after that. When you told me that we can’t be together and that we’re better off as friends, I knew right there and then that I had to let you go, but I still hanged a little bit, right? I have been holding on because I still love you and I kept holding on to the idea of you and I together forever. I always wanted you to love me and to continue to love me even if we’re no longer together. So I admit that part, I’m selfish. 

We had those seven months. Those were the best months of my life. We had our own share of ups and downs. It was never easy between us. How can it be when we both knew our relationship wasn’t supposed to be? But for a couple caught up in a relationship that wasn’t supposed to be, we handled it pretty well. We faced issues maturely. We had arguments and discussions but we never fought - not even once. Never said hurtful words, never hated each other. We both knew when to stop. 

I will always have feelings for you. I will never stop caring. But things won’t be the same anymore. I would be lying if I say that losing you is something I can easily handle but I am finally moving on. I have told you before that I was letting you go and move on but everyone knows I didn’t. But now I will take baby steps of finally letting you go and I know that you will be happy for me. 

Babe, I am sorry if things ended the way they did. I really am. I blame myself. I still do. But I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret meeting you. I don’t regret loving you. No bitterness whatsoever. I’ll still have you in my life. I know that people are to fall in love but aren’t meant to be together forever. Well, that’s love. 

People meet for a reason. Meetings aren’t just random encounters. People meet because they’re meant to be part of each other’s journey. I may not know it now. You may not know it now. But there was a reason why we met. Our paths have crossed to teach each other a lesson and I want you to know that I learned a lot from you. 

From, 

Your ex-boyfriend who will never regret loving you

WRONG SPELING

 
I`ve been keeping myself updated with the news through the internet for as much as I can. These days kasi, I’m on the grave yard shift (7pm-7am, I know right?). Meaning, I don’t have time to watch the prime time news.

Yesterday, I was browsing a certain showbiz-oriented website when suddenly a headline catches my attention: “Philippines win Miss Teen Universe 2012 First Runner Up”. Lovely, I thought. Because I haven’t heard the pageant before, I did some research. Okay, it’s a new one. With 13 candidates. Held in Nicaragua. I also did some research on Miss Philippines Clarisse Obia. 

I had a fantastic run until I saw this -

PHILIPPNES. Ano ‘to, lokohan?!

Miss Philippines must be such a sweet and nice girl not to complain that the name of her country was misspelled. Or she did complain nicely but the organizers took 123456789 years to print the correctly-spelled sash.

This is not the first time that a Miss Philippines wore a misspelled sash. Remember Miss Philippines in Miss Universe 2008? That’s the epic-est fail of all times. To think that it’s Miss Universe. Like, hello? 

So, let me ask you my dear readers, if you are representing the country in an international event like this would you still wear the sash even if it is misspelled? 


Would you or would you not?

Lessons I Learned After Graduation

I can’t just fucking believe that it’s been over a year since your awesomeness graduated from college. Is it really been a year? Grabe, parang kahapon lang. I can still remember how happy and ecstatic I was that day. I cannot explain that amazing feeling I felt. It was surreal as it can get. And seeing my mom displaying her “i-am-so-proud-of-my-son” smile, it was just priceless. 

When I was on stage, I kept my feet from dancing. Of course, I don`t want to ruin the solemnity of the occasion. Plus, ayaw ko ding mabansagang “The Dancing Graduate”. Hahaha. Parang traffic enforcer lang. 

But months after that, I became a mess. A TOTAL MESS. I came in and out of post-college depression. The last quarter of 2011 was just depressing. I don’t know the direction where I’m headed to. I’ve felt so unfocused with what I wanted to do in life. Probably, unemployment and being broken-hearted does that to some people. Haha. But it was on the 4 months of self-struggle and depression, I learned valuable lessons in life. Let me share some ~

Lesson # 1: A dream is a hope that never sleeps. You know how they always say “pursue your dreams”. That’s easier said than done. But really, you just gotta do it. If you failed, try again. Nothing in the world is easy. Work hard and never quit.

Lesson # 2: Shit happens. Just when you think you’re having this perfect life then something will come along to prove you’re wrong. Life is not always peaches and cream baby. And that’s the sad reality. Hindi pwedeng lagi kang nasa taas. Sometimes you need to experience hiccups to stay real, to be humble. No matter how much you plan and prepare, nothing in life is guaranteed. Things can change in a heartbeat and you need to prepare for that eventuality.

Lesson # 3: It’s not how you fall. It’s how you bounce back. ‘Di titigil ang mundo sa pag-inog dahil lang sa nadapa ka. And hindi hihintayin ng mundo ang muli mong pagbangon. What you need to do is pick yourself up and dust yourself off, move and try to make a better life for yourself. Because that’s what a fighter do. We move forward and we keep on fighting.

Lesson # 4: Happiness comes to those who seek it. Choosing happiness is a choice. Happiness doesn’t just happen. It’s not an accident, it isn’t a gift. Happiness is up to you. You can choose to be happy instead of choosing to sit in a corner and wait for it to fall in your lap. Happiness is called upon and cultivated.

                                                                                         

Lesson # 5: If there’s one lesson I learned (or probably, relearned) – and I wish I could tell this to everyone- is that “Never doubt yourself”. I’ll admit that I feel mediocre most of the time. Not good, always trailing behind someone. Pero those months of depression made me realize that: Sino pa bang magtitiwala sa sarili ko kundi ako rin? If nobody wants to lift my chair for me then I’ll lift it myself. Or else nobody will know how much I worth. So I’m telling you now, no matter what other people say, no matter how others made you feel, never ever doubt yourself. If you believe in yourself, you will succeed far more than you will ever fail. 

I have to admit that my first post-graduate year wasn’t easy. It was rough, in fact. But because of all the adversities that happened to me, I am much stronger and wiser than I ever thought I could be. I think learning to deal with these things taught me true responsibility and unexpectedly, honor and what true manhood is.

10 Ways To Turn Me Off

10. Turn off ako sa babaeng jejemon. Ikaw ba naman maka-receive ng gan’tong text “lAbqCkyOuHh” galing sa girlfriend mo kung di ka mawindang. 

09. Turn off  ako sa babaeng malakas pa sakin… ang body odor. Isa ito sa mga pet peeves ko actually. Kahit na siguro si Giselle Bundchen look-alike ang iharap niyo sakin kung jumajabar naman siya, thank you na lang. Hygiene is a necessity, man. It really is. 

08. Turn off ako sa babaeng dry ang sense of humor or worse, wala nito. Sobrang boring nun. At saka, baka di pa niya masakyan mga jokes ko. Awkward yun kung ganun. 

07. Turn off ko sa babaeng materialistic. Dahil wala akong pera. Boom! 

06. Turn off ako sa babaeng bitchy sa barkada ko. It doesn’t matter how we’ll she’s treating me, if she’s treating my friends on a bitchy and rude way, it’s only a matter of time before it is pointed at me. And I don’t like that. 

05. Turn off  ako sa babaeng nagyoyosi, umiinom and worst, nagda-drugs. Bakit ikaw dude gusto mo? Kung oo, lakas ng tama mo. Patingin ka na sa psychiatrist. 

04. Tun off ako sa babaeng clingy, overpossessive and too selosa. I find it cute when girls are being a bit selosa `cos it just shows na mahal niya ako and takot siyang mawala ako. But there there`s a fine line between being in love and being too much in love. Yung OA na ang pagseselos. Na kulang na lang pati Mom ko pagselosan. Ano `to, obsession? Haha.

03. Turn off ako sa babaeng makati pa sa higad or –sorry for the word- malibog. Because it’s not what trying to cultivate a lasting relationship is all about. There’s a fine line between lust and love. Ang mga relationship na lust ang foundation is usually doomed from the start. Sex is for married couples. Otherwise, it’s just fucking around.

 02.  Turn off ako sa babaeng nabibilang lang ang brain cells. Yung tipong pagpapaganda lang ang alam. Yung “clichés” ~ maganda nga pero medyo weak. Hindi lahat ng lalaki chooses beauty over brains. In fact, a lot of guys like to have an intelligent conversation rather than settle with the stereotypical limbo. And I’m one of them. Naks! 

01. And lastly, turn off ako sa babaeng mahilig mamangka sa dalawang ilog or more. In more simple term, CHEATER! Because duh, sino ba namang tao in his sane mind ang gustong niloloko siya? Ayaw na ayaw ko pa namang ginagawang tanga (so there comes the warning). Kung may gusto siyang iba, fine with a capital F. Hindi ako maghahabol. Never. Anyway, ano bang nakukuha ng isang tao sa pagtsi-cheat? Waley. I think the act is just repulsive and I’m wondering how cheaters sleep at night.

...

When we were kids, we have this picture of our ideal partners in our minds. Oh c`mon, don`t be shy. I know you have one. When I was a little bit younger, my ideal girl was a triple M ~ MATANDANG MAYAMAN NA MADALING MAMATAY. Hahaha. I`m just kidding. My ideal girl was -

1. Dapat maganda.

2. Dapat matalino.

3. Dapat mayaman.

In more simple term, dapat PERFECT which we all know don`t exist. At all. But somewhere along the road, nagbago ang requirements ko. Okay lang kahit di na maganda. Okay lang kahit di matalino. Okay lang kahit di mayaman. Now, I`m just looking for a girl who can love me for what I am. Who can accept my mistakes and my imperfections. And a girl who can look me in the eyes while saying, "Yes, I wanna grow old with you". That`s all, thank you. Bow. *sabay kaway sa audience* Haha. Ang mushy! Pang-pageant lang.

On a more serious mode.

I know that somewhere out there, out of the 8 billion people roaming this planet, there is this girl who is meant to be with me forever. She may not know it yet. I may not know it yet. But destiny will bring us together.